I have found caregivers napping when my Mom's asleep. Should I be upset by this?

I have a small care home in Florida, and we occasionally have someone on Hospice services. They send aides and nurses regularly, but when the person is ill or in case of a fall or some sharp decline, they will put them on crisis care, with aides or nurses around the clock, 8 am to 8 pm and then another one 8 pm to 8 am.
On one such occasion, I stayed over at the home sure enough, the night nurse was in Pat's room.... When I awoke to the sound of Pat's walker in the hall!
Now, I'm in the Living room of my own ALF home, so I'm comfortable. The nurse is being paid more per hour by far than I make as the owner, by the Hospice agency/Medicare, and she is the Night nurse, supposedly there to Watch Over the patient, take notes, be there Whatever she needs. Pat's no shrinking violet, so knowing her, I imagine she did call out to the lady before getting up and going on her own to the bathroom next to her bedroom.
I immediately knew the sound of Pat's walker and her labored breathing and I Ran down the hall.
Smiling, I put my arm around my dear friend's shoulder, and said, "You should call the nurse, that's what she's there for, but let me help you." Then I paused long enough to identify the sound of loud snoring from the room...
Pat shook her silver curls, smiled back at me, "Bless your heart, sweetie, you know me... I practically hollered at that woman, but she's out cold." After I got Pat seated on the commode, I said, "I'll give you a minute, while I go apply cold water", which brought a chuckle. Shaking her head, Pat murmured, "Honey, you know you're All Bark and No Bite!"
I went into the room and here was the nurse in the comfy recliner, light on, mouth open, snoring loudly. "Miss!, Excuse me, Hello, Nurse!" I too practically shouted at this woman, and she slept on. Finally I shook her knee, no response and again both called out to her And shook her knee. She sat up and said, "Oh, she's ok, she's asleep..." Her gaze shifted to the bed, and she said, "Oh, where is she?! She crept out silently." Sure she did....
I didn't scold but said I thought the agency told me the night person would be awake. The next day I called them and said please do not send back the person from last night.
And as for anyone not being conscious, I always watch what is said in their proximity. I've seen many an agency caregiver and even nurses, talking about a person with dementia right in front of them, and that's rude.
I agree with those who say the caregiver there only 8 hours, should probably do some quiet chores in another room, or at least put music on to soothe your mom (music does So Much for those with dementia/Alzheimer's) and if she is there with mom, and it's boring, do bring a book, pay bills on her laptop, whatever it takes to while away time if she can't be productive during that time.
That's what I'd do

THAT is more than a NAP...that is OUT COLD...who would blame you for that!!!!

Bless you, Angelhouse. I would have probably sprinkled water on her face until she awakened. Sad and scary story and unfortunately our loved one is the one who is in peril. hugs to you for taking on the elderly with Alz./Dementia, as I've said before, "caregiving is not for sissies".

It is not ok to sleep! I was in your position and now realize that you can't be too careful in managing the care of your loved one. Put cameras in the house, make sure all the caregivers know CPR are just a few things. I now regret some things I let slip by and believe me, I regret it and it's too late.

Don't be too hard on yourself, lacymae. We do the best we can with what we have and know and what we learn along the way. With Alz./dementia, it is a different story/song every day and you can't always know everything about a given situation. Things change from minute to minute; be good to yourself and give yourself permission to have peace and calm about your situation. God knows how it is/was for you. Blessings.

They should not be sleeping when being paid to caregive on a set hour. When I do my shift with father on the weekends, I have my books, my kindle and my laptop. If I get bored with the book, I play games on the kindle. Or I use the laptop to read here. Or flip thru the TV channels trying to find something interesting to watch. Almost all the paid caregivers I hired, father complained that they slept for over an hour. He said that I shouldn't pay for the time they were sleeping.

When I do get really tired and need to sleep, I do a power nap. I even have my cell phones set to ring for 15 minutes later. That's a short enough nap to prevent me from going into deep sleep but enough time time to energize me.

The two nurses I've hired to help with dad also have other families they work for. Sometimes I hire one to stay overnight if dad had a bad night before with dementia, didn't sleep and I didn't sleep either. If he has a calm night and sleeps or just lays there and talks all night as if he were at work, I don't have any problem with them falling a sleep for awhile, no harm done. If dad has any kind of outburst it wakes me up anyway (can't help it), and I can here the nurse helping him at his side. Caregiving is a hard job, whether by family or as an employee, plus these nurses have families of their own. Find out what your nurse did on her previous shift or at home, was she up all night, did she just work an 8 hour shift before coming to your home? If so, this might explain the naps besides from being bored. If they're over worked hire one that strictly works for your family. I like to know who's working in my home, I talk to them, get to know them, it helps.

Forgot to add, the caregivers I've hired, do light housekeeping in dad's quarters, prepare meals for dad, bathing, feeding, medications, diapers, changing sheets, laundry. And they do. They run out of things to do and will even take my dogs out for me and fold my daughters laundry, they simply run out of things to do for dad as he naps, they do everything they can. So if they nod off while reading a book, they probably need it.

When I first posted my intention was not to be too hard on the caregivers you occasionally find asleep. I was not supporting those who make a habit of regular nap time with blankets etc Just be kind to the older caregiver who gets extra tired and may fall asleep sitting bolt upright writing letters. That may not be the right caregiver for your situation especially for that overnight shift. I worked till I was 68 and my week ends on call were Friday night 4.30 pm to Monday morning 8.30 am and if it was my turn at Thanksgiving my shift started at 4.30 pm on Wednesday evening. Now sometimes very little happened and at others it was non stop. If I had to wait for a funeral home to arrive and they took 2 hours to get there I can tell you even matchsticks were not 100% effective. Blessed the family that had the coffee on and a snack. I was asked to do every thing from patient care, cooking, stacking wood ( I did refuse to do that) going to the pharmacy at 3 am, doing laundry and feeding the dog. I did all these things willingly and tolerated the patient who stood over me and carefully supervised the loading of the washer. I really enjoyed my job until I just got too tired. It is a lot of give and take with caregivers but remember you are paying the piper and good ones are hard to find

I would also like to add that i have done24 hour live in cases and it requires us by our license to rest 8 hours downtime and we are allowed to get up 2-3 xs to assist client not sit up all nite.. agencys tend to put caregivers on theses cases when should be a 12 12 case the caregiver and client need to understand both and the family needs to understand the requirements of a license caregiver. I have come to realize with each caseplan is different expectations i tend do try and do what is good and right for all and this is not easy.. many try to be a caregiver and go into it with the wrong motives again,resting and not a full sleep is ok and if the family has problems then take over and work it out among the siblings and other family members.. I have seen families run away from responsibilities and i had to do all aspects of running the home for very little pay, and i have seen the opposite of family helping as much as possible if good keep it why change what is working. there are alot of other familys that would gladly want a trusting honest caregiver

well I wrote something and it disappeared. Talk to the people you work for. Right now, I was burned pretty bad by my person that pays me, I am there always onetime, and she has alzheimer's and she calls me many times in the morning to see what time I am going to be there. There are 20 minutes that I am not paid. When I get to the house, the person whom pays me stated I was to clock out the minute I unlocked the key to the door, not any of the time when I walk into the house and find that two and only two dogs have done their duty in the house. I am to clean it on my own time, forget about breaks, forget about lunch, and the latest was, oh your schedule is going to be the same, and the next week, well I have decided to give my sister in law a chance (the same sister in law) that two month's ago she said no way in heck would she give her a chance. Sorry for going off topic, but the answer is this. talk with the people whom pay you if that relationship isn't good, nothing will be, I don't care how kind you are ever and ever. Like I said, sleeping, if you are a light sleeper and it is night then I don't think there is an issue with it, but keep communication lines going all the time. it is tricky but you need too, also keep everything and i mean everything in writing.

I've been involved in caring for a private individual for 5 years until her death at the age of 104.She had Alzheimers and I watched her decline. But it was a gift to me to be able to care for her as in personal hygiene, laundry, grocery shopping, cooking and preparing her food by pureeing it so she wouldn't choke on it. Sometimes when she would take her nap I would take a break, and sit in the recliner in a next room or sometimes she would want me to lie next to her. I would doze, but would snap to at her least movement. Taking care of an adult is a lot more work than taking care of a infant. So I would tell anyone who is taking care of my 89 year old loved one and sister who has serious health problems, to rest when they rest so that she (the caregiver) will have enough energy to give them the care they need when they are awake. Caring for a patient with Alzheimers is mentally and physically exausting. Why else would anyone hire someone to help them? One person can't and shouldn't have to and God bless those that do.

This is for "Ladee1" I understand your point as a caregiver And you are probably one of the "good ones" but her daughter has every right to show up unannounced she doesn't have to tell you or anybody else for that matter. It is her right as a caring daughter. I do the same thing for my mom in assisted living I will make visits any time day or nite. It wouldn't be a good scene if someone did hurt or did anything wrong with my mother!!!

This thread is three years old.

A care aide was scheduled from 1 am to 4 am to assist my parent with night-time walks to the bathroom to prevent so many incontinence accidents and/or falls while trying to get to the bathroom. At least 2 assists per shift were requested. Other quiet tasks like laundry folding and mopping the kitchen or bathroom were in the job request. Twice the care-aide was found napping on the living room sofa. Parent was calling for assistance from bedroom (approx. 15 ft away) and the aide didn't wake up. Parent did manage to get up to walk to living room and see aide asleep. We requested that aide not be assigned any longer. Simple request without the reason unless the staff manager asked. She didn't.

I believe that unless an aide asks for permission up front that naps be allowed that an aide should not just assume it's ok. They are getting paid to do a job. They should consider themselves lucky that they may have some downtime to use smartphone to take care of personal business, or sewing, pleasure reading, ect.

Please note if a parent has any type of memory problem such a Alzheimer's/ Dementia, we sometimes need to take what they say with a grain of salt.   Yes, there is a 50% chance that the Aide was napping, and a 50% chance the Aide was not.

That time of night can be difficult for an Aide who doesn't do night shift on a regular basis.   When my Dad had overnight shift, these caregivers only did overnight shifts, no days shifts, so they got their 8 hours of sleep prior to coming to the house.

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Cameras have solved a lot of issues for me. And, of course, you should "drop in." I think you would be negligent if you didn't.

I think your concern is if the caregivers would wake up when your mother gets up as you are hiring them so that someone will be alert in case she falls or needs help.

You should probably talk with the caregivers. When my mother was recovering from surgery, one of her favorite caregivers would come work at night, then go to her full time job during the day at a company. The caregiver would sleep in the rocking chair next to mom's bed with her legs up in such a way that mom could not go anywhere without waking her up. That way she could make sure that mom did not fall or put too much weight on her recovering hip.

You need some reassurance that the caregivers have a plan for how to be awakened when your mother is up. That could be anything from having your mother wake them up if she is alert, to having a motion sensor beep if your mother gets up. There are also pressure sensor pads that will sound if they sense the person has gotten up. Talk to your caregivers and work out what would be the best solution for all involved to make certain that your mom's caregivers get up when she does.

What if the caregiver is sleeping and your LO falls? When you have a caregiver overnight you are paying them to stay awake. We have a bed posey that says, "Please sit down." for our LO in case the caregivers fall asleep which in our case is family. For some caregivers this does not wake them. If they don't wake up at night time from the bed alarm we don't schedule them at night time. Even for Caregivers who wake up very easily, it doesn't mean 100% of the time. Therefore get a bed alarm and learn how to reset it. The point is to prevent your LO from getting hurt. Blessings to all.

YES, you should be upset and fire that person immediately!! What do you think would happen if you had a job and your employer found you sleeping? You wouldn't have the job very long!!! People are being PAID to do a certain level of work and this is an unsafe situation - what if something happened with the patient or the house while this person was sleeping? You're paying him/her to be AWAKE, ALERT, and RESPONSIBLE. The caregiver is NOT a guest to be treated with "kid gloves!"

Only instance of anyone being paid to sleep on the job was a comic strip character named L'il Abner created by Al Capp. He was a mattress tester in a mattress factory! Sleeping on the job is theft unless sleeping on the job is what you are specifically hired to do. Stealing from employer/client is a fireable offence. Sleeping or engaging in personal hobbies during a paid work shift is a theft of time/wages. An employee is required to find chores or duties to stay occupied during the time frame they are being paid for. Sleep is what one does off the clock!

Only instance of someone being paid to sleep on the job was a comic strip character named L'il Abner created by Al Capp in the 1950's. L'il Abner was a mattress tester in a mattress factory. No one is paid to sleep or engage in personal hobbies while on the clock. That is considered theft unless sleeping on the clock is your job description. All paid employees are required to find ways to keep busy while being paid. Sleep and hobbies are done on your own time, not the client's or employer's time.

No matter how pleasant the Nurses Aid/ attendant is, they should not be sleeping on the job. Neither should they leave there charge alone while they go outside for a smoke. They should get enough sleep on their own time. Even if they are a light sleeper, they should not be sleeping on your time. A bed alarm is a good idea but the N.A. should not rely on this to wake them when they fall asleep. Talk to the N.A. first, then to her boss and lastly try someone else for the job. They can bring mints, walk around, drink water, stretch, do whatever they have to do stay awake. Also you might have to break up the shift and use 2 different N.A.'s instead of 1. Cheers to you for stopping in to see what is going on.

This is learning experience to all concerned. Set your expectations and talk it out to your caregivers before they started a job with your elders. And if there is some mishaps talk to them what do you think and why it happened the unexpected. They are just human and not a machines. Try to be nice to them by giving some advice how to cope with their difficulties and you will see how more wonderful they become to care for your love ones. Love begets more love.

If I walked in and found my mom asleep in the bed and the caregiver in a chair next to her, nodded off, then no, I would not be angry.

You’ve said you like the caregivers they don’t steal, they are kind and take care of your mom well, etc.

People get tired!

I am in this situation right this minute.
My patient didn't sleep all night (again) and fell asleep 1 hour after my shift started. I got him fed, sheets changed, teeth brushed and pottied before he drifted off.
It is permitted that I can use my phone while I sit in the darkened room. (If not, I'd go nuts!) When I notice I'm getting heavy eyed, I get up, use the bathroom, read by flashlight, do deep breathing, exercise quietly in the room, ANYTHING to keep from sleeping. If the house gets too warm, I'll have a big cold drink and wash my face and hands with cold water.

I'm being paid to stay awake. I can hear (from his breathing) if he's going into a seizure. (90% of his seizures are during his sleep). If I was asleep, I wouldn't catch it. How would that be to wake up to a gran mal seizure?

Falling asleep is punishable by a warning then by termination.
This is a good job (unlike a lot that I've tried out there) and I don't want to screw it up.
I go to bed at 9 pm and get up at 5 am. No reason to sleep.
Plus, I get to read all the AC responses at work ! 😀

Diana, I agree with you. My gosh, I remember one time watching over my Dad in the evening. He was dozing in his recliner. My cellphone didn't have internet and even if it did, there was no WiFi in the house.

Guess I could have read the weekly hometown newspaper that was mailed to Dad, to catch up with the farming reports, that would take 10 minutes.

Couldn't do any housecleaning as I didn't want to wake Dad. So I quietly turned on the TV and scrolled through all 6 channels on the TV. Oh, Dad didn't have cable, either. Eventually I found something to keep me awake for awhile.

Eventually i did doze off. One just can't help it, unless one was a night caregiver who has a chance to sleep 8 hours during the day.  Plus the house was sooo hot.

I take care 24/7 of a 95 year old lady with dementia and erratic sleeping pattern. She would wake you up every 15 minutes from 11pm to 4am, thereby depriving you of your right to uninterrupted sleep. There would be nights she slept soundly. Her children are aware of their mother's sleeping habits. They would tell me to nap when their mother is napping, and not to mind the dishes piling up on the sink or the house not cleaned yet as long as I made up on lost sleep. My lady gets mad if i work too hard around the house and would prefer me taking rest with her.

This is a great thread with many opinions and experiences.

Two tips.
Cameras and cell phones.

With cameras you can check in anytime.
Since the cameras are visible to all ( in my case) they are a deterrent on their own for any no no’s. No one can tell when you are checking.

The cell phone is useful for two different reasons.

One is that you can check the cameras via the cell phone regardless of where you are.

The second use for the cell phone is for the sleepy person. If feeling sleepy simply read a few minutes on the phone and the light of the phone will help wake one up and make one more alert.
That’s the same reason one shouldn’t be on the cell phone before going to sleep at night.
Good for waking up. Bad for going to sleep.