I am 65 with a TBI, nerve damage, total right hip and knee, Osteoporosis and several buldging disks in my spine and have severe depression with Insomnia. I am on SS Disability since I was 55 from a bad accident. We own our home, but live on a fixed income. I don't know what to do next. We live in a rural town with no Elder Care Attorneys. My husband has Stage 3 kidney disease, Diabetes w/Nueropathy in his feet and Parkinson's. I am the driver, cook, wash the clothes and do the shopping. Just to get out of the house is like very hard because I have panic attacks. Once I get out and can determine no one is going to hurt me, I'm ok but my Blood Pressure goes to stroke level. Please any suggestions besides a mental institution.

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Call Newton County Senior Services for help:
Address: 6183 Turner Lake Rd S, Covington, GA 30014
Phone:(770) 787-0038
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WillieJim, are you and your husband in touch with your Area Agency on Aging? Your county or region should have an office. You could probably get some in home help through them, and they may be able to direct you to resources for transportation, home repairs, navigating Medicaid, housing issues, etc. Here in Michigan, when you call the AAA, the person you talk to is at a state office and may just give you general information. But once you set up an appointment with a social worker, they should be local and more familiar with what is available in your area. We have gotten a lot of help through ours but I have heard things vary depending on what region you are in. (Also depends on how good the social worker is.)

They should also be able to refer you to someone who could discuss with you whether you'd be eligible for a Medicaid voucher, which would (at least in many states) make you eligible for additional in-home assistance.

Is your husband a veteran? If so he may also have access to some extra assistance.

Finally, are you on good terms with your kids? Are they aware you need help or just busy with their own lives? If you feel they would be willing to help out more, but just don't realize you need that help, I would be very specific. Ask them, for example, if there if each could accompany you or your husband to one dr's appointment a month. (Honestly, there were many times my mom, sister and I would all take my grandma to appointments, because when someone has complex medical issues, it really helps to have an extra set of ears listening to the dr.) Or ask if they could research help on the internet for you. Or if they could sit with your husband if you need to get out by yourself.

I hope you and your husband get some outside help! It sounds like you have way to much to do on your own!
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Since you have zero help from your children, have you thought about moving to assisted living? It sounds like you could use the help. They would do the shopping, fix meals, and no dishes for you to clean up. No yard work. You could still go out and do things you wanted to do. But medical care and needs would be taken care of.

I would make sure your legal papers were in order prior to the move, and selling your home. Will, POA, for medical as well as financial. You are under no obligation to leave your children anything. An inheritance is a GIFT. The money you and your husband saved, as well as ownership of the home belong to you and your husband, to use as you see fit.

I would contact an attorney to have all documents drawn up, as well as handle the sale of the home, estate sale, or however you choose to dispose of the excess furnishings etc. in your home.
Helpful Answer (2)

WillieJim, so sorry to read you are going through this at such a young age [yes 65 is young]. Rural setting are wonderful if you had family living just down the road, and if you didn't need close by medical care, etc., it might be better to see if you and hubby could move closer to a larger Town that offers everything you need. Yes, house prices will be higher, but you could downsize into something less expensive.

My Dad's parents moved from a large farm they had owned to a small farmette at the edge of town, where my Grandmother could walk to the market, the bank, library, Town Hall square, etc. as she never learned to drive.... mind you, she was in her 60's at the time. And there were a dozen of relatives who lived not that far from her, so it worked out well. The Town had a small hospital, and there was also a nursing home. Once Grandma got older, the library would hand deliver books to her, and the grocery store would bring the groceries that she ordered.

Panic attacks can be rough, I know as I get them, too. My primary doctor now has me on a pill that helps takes the edge off... yikes, I should have done this years ago.

You need to get all the required legal documents in order, such as your Will, Power of Attorney, maybe a Trust. Do it while hubby has a clear mind and can make good choices.
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