I am 65 with a TBI, nerve damage, total right hip and knee, Osteoporosis and several buldging disks in my spine and have severe depression with Insomnia. I am on SS Disability since I was 55 from a bad accident. We own our home, but live on a fixed income. I don't know what to do next. We live in a rural town with no Elder Care Attorneys. My husband has Stage 3 kidney disease, Diabetes w/Nueropathy in his feet and Parkinson's. I am the driver, cook, wash the clothes and do the shopping. Just to get out of the house is like very hard because I have panic attacks. Once I get out and can determine no one is going to hurt me, I'm ok but my Blood Pressure goes to stroke level. Please any suggestions besides a mental institution.
My Dad's parents moved from a large farm they had owned to a small farmette at the edge of town, where my Grandmother could walk to the market, the bank, library, Town Hall square, etc. as she never learned to drive.... mind you, she was in her 60's at the time. And there were a dozen of relatives who lived not that far from her, so it worked out well. The Town had a small hospital, and there was also a nursing home. Once Grandma got older, the library would hand deliver books to her, and the grocery store would bring the groceries that she ordered.
Panic attacks can be rough, I know as I get them, too. My primary doctor now has me on a pill that helps takes the edge off... yikes, I should have done this years ago.
You need to get all the required legal documents in order, such as your Will, Power of Attorney, maybe a Trust. Do it while hubby has a clear mind and can make good choices.
I would make sure your legal papers were in order prior to the move, and selling your home. Will, POA, for medical as well as financial. You are under no obligation to leave your children anything. An inheritance is a GIFT. The money you and your husband saved, as well as ownership of the home belong to you and your husband, to use as you see fit.
I would contact an attorney to have all documents drawn up, as well as handle the sale of the home, estate sale, or however you choose to dispose of the excess furnishings etc. in your home.
They should also be able to refer you to someone who could discuss with you whether you'd be eligible for a Medicaid voucher, which would (at least in many states) make you eligible for additional in-home assistance.
Is your husband a veteran? If so he may also have access to some extra assistance.
Finally, are you on good terms with your kids? Are they aware you need help or just busy with their own lives? If you feel they would be willing to help out more, but just don't realize you need that help, I would be very specific. Ask them, for example, if there if each could accompany you or your husband to one dr's appointment a month. (Honestly, there were many times my mom, sister and I would all take my grandma to appointments, because when someone has complex medical issues, it really helps to have an extra set of ears listening to the dr.) Or ask if they could research help on the internet for you. Or if they could sit with your husband if you need to get out by yourself.
I hope you and your husband get some outside help! It sounds like you have way to much to do on your own!
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