We have a family member that will be released from the hospital shortly. Because of progressive dementia and other related health issues it seems logical to take the next step and go to long term care rather than let her come home and then in two or three months make the move to LTC. We know that she will only go to LTC screaming and kicking based on our say so alone. On the other side of the issue is dealing with other family members that feel she should be at home. What outside resources are available that will help us make the case for LTC as realistically that appears to be the most logical option.
If you strongly feel that she should not come back home, then I don't question that you're right. I'm sure you are. Refuse to pick her up from the hospital. If other family members want to pick her up, then let them know that they are responsible for working with the discharge planner and coordinating and overseeing her care at home. It's a ton of work. If they really want to be responsible for that, then let them for the time being.
Also, is there a facility near you ready to take her in? Many times, places are full and there is a wait list. Then of course, there is the issue of money. Just wondering how far you are in your planning.
We placed my Dad in LTC after a fall. He has been in the NH for two years now. NOT willingly, but my 85 year old mother with two hip replacements couldn't take of him. He has nasty, anger dementia, is a two person transfer and has to be medicated to stay calm. It's not a pretty picture. :(
Good luck with you situation. :)
-SS