My mother is only 63 and increasingly accusing people of stealing from her. She's always had personality/mood issues that lead me to think she has a personality disorder, like borderline, bipolar, anxiety, depression. She lives on her own, 8 hours away, has no medical insurance, and I can't 'make' her go to the doctor for a diagnosis. What do I do????!?
You are right that you can't "make" her go to the doctor. Sometimes things get bad enough (and they may) where you can have Social Services do a welfare check on her. They have some clout and may be able to get her to get help.
Encouraging her to go to a doctor for something other than the mental issues may help - then the doctor could be alerted by letter that she has these other issues.
The painful part is that unless the person is legally declare incompetent, sometimes we have to let them fall before they' will get help. First, however, try third parties such as old friends (if she has any), social services or even a church leader.
Good luck with this. Please don't blame yourself. Just keep trying to do your best.
Carol