Mom is a diabetic, heart patient and recovering from a mild stroke. She fights with us about what to eat and how much.
We are suppose to write everything down, count carbs and so on.
If we turn our backs she will throw the food she won't eat or doesn't want to eat away in the trash.
She can not cook for herself because of the stroke.
We try to give her choices so she is apart of the decisions for what to eat.
It is just frustrating and one more thing to keep up on and with.
Any ideas she is 78.
So, count carbs. Count what she really eats, not what you hope she will eat. When it is all written down and the carbs are all counted, what do you do with that information? Is medicine or insulin adjusted based on the carb count? If so, adjust it. Is this a record that is shown with a registered dietciian or a certified diabetes educator -- someone who will then discuss it with Mom? If so, turn the records in and let the professional discuss it with Mom.
Eating inappropriately has consequences for persons with diabetes. (Well, for everyone, really, but the consequences are more obvious and pronounced for a diabetic.) If Mom understands the consequences, shouldn't she be allowed to decide what to eat?
I'm a diabetic, about 10 years younger than your mom. If I lived with someone who expected me to eat what they wanted me to eat, I'd throw it in the trash, too. Sorry.
It would be bad enough -- terrible, really -- to suddenly not be able to cook for myself, and to have physical limitations from the stroke. This would be a huge blow. And now, on top of that, I've got people telling me I've got to eat a half a cup of green beans for dinner?! Yup, I can sure see the trash can filling up with green beans!
This has got to be so hard on everyone in that household. I commend you for trying to do the right thing. I really do. I know that your heart is in the right place. But how about just writing the food down, counting the carbs, do whatever you are supposed to do with the results, and stop discussing it. Try to make meal time pleasant, and stress-free for all of you. Maybe after a few months of adjusting to her new situation and without being constantly stressed over it, maybe when it isn't a contest of wills any more, Mom will take more responsibility for her own health and eat better on her own. Or maybe not.
But frankly, I think constant fighting over what she is/isn't eating is more detrimental than being short on her vegetable counts.