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Father is 89 and does EVERYTHING in house and for step-mother; step-mother with debilitating RA, almost to point of not being ambulatory.


Light housecleaning and personal hygiene help for step-mother would be ideal.


My siblings and I live hours away.

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Start out by calling their local Area Agency on Aging. They will do a "needs assessment" and advise on what assistance they might be eligible for.

Consulting an certified Eldercare attorney would be money well spent. Just because they are over the "Medicaid income limit" on the face of things doesn't mean that there isn't a way that they can't qualify.
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Medicaid won’t pay for house cleaning. And you have to need a lot more care than just personal hygiene in order to qualify for in home care through Medicaid. If they don’t financially qualify for government assistance, they will either have to self pay or perhaps find local volunteers.
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in the same situation as your parents, we were advised to open a “Miller Trust”. It goes by another name now but I can’t remember it. Go through your local Medicaid office and they will send you the forms. Basically, your parents would have to put the overage in that account. That money would have to be spent only for their health needs. We would have used it for hubby’s supplemental insurance, incontinence supplies, etc. As I understood it, he would then have been qualified for Medicaid.

Your only other option, if they don’t actually need home medical care, would be self-pay. Care.com might be the way to go. Failing that, itmight be time to consider a facility. This situation sounds like a whole lot for your elderly dad to handle with no hope close-by.
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