My Dad is 73 and starting to have health problems including severe depression from being the sole care giver to his disabled wife. His daughter moved back in with her girlfriend and are asking for money and bringing more stress into the home. They are not helping but hurting my Dad and I want them out.
I think you might be way off base…
and causing problem obviously their financial abuse her and who knows what more .
make sure they are being accused of freeloading and its real, i know my dad loves to talk smack about me to my sister, boo hoo about how mean i am when im actually not, its just him wanting attention, but ive had a few people belive him, that im 'running him into the poorhouse' his favorite grip, when im actually the one that saved his house.
is there anyway you can go and stay at your dads for about a week and see for yourself whats going on before you accuse someone that may be busting their butt helping him and not harming him?
Before you go to such radical measures is it all possible to 'play nice' first [which I KNOW is extremely challenging] and ask/offer your sister assistance re: her own mental health [does she suffer from depression?] in the form of resources re: life coaching, financial management, goal setting etc…AND, is she WORKING??? If not, this gives you [more complicated] leverage. Is her partner working???
Please understand that these are 'my' suggestions…I have studied much psychology & have worked w/seniors [life enrichment coordinator, national outreach campaigns/Alzheimer's] BUT I am not a professional/licensed professional and often feel that seeking out that level of assistance to often be the MOST EFFICIENT ROUTE—both emotionally & logistically.
When you mention 'his daughter', is she your half/step sister?
Last but not least, while you are focusing on alleviating this additional stress on your dad, you might consider simultaneously securing mental health assistance & caregiver support for your dad. You could gently/silently announce the 'winds of change' by securing/hiring someone to come in & help your father out maybe once a week, this person can serve as an extra set of eyes & ears. Your father & his wife might actually qualify for some form of home health services—The Senior Source in Dallas is an OUTSTANDING resource, if you are not in Big D, then locate a social worker [begin by inquiring @ whatever hospital servicing your dad/his wife] and start asking a lot of questions. I suggest you keep a spiral w/pockets, possibly in a binder, for all the info including medical, all together in one place & maintain really good notes—including your own thoughts/questions! This empties the 'squirrels running around in your head' out so that you can function in a significantly more healthy/less stressful manner.
Very, VERY best success to you—you will be in my thoughts.
Fiffi