Three weeks ago, mom went into the hospital to get iv treatment for a stubborn kidney infection. While there, she suffered a major stroke and then kidneys shut down. She had a second stroke and had fluid on the lungs. It is so hard to watch them die right before your eyes.
My husband died at home, on hospice. Hospice services can be provided in a medical setting, in a home, or in Hospice Houses.
What you should expect is that Mom will be kept comfortable and out of pain, and that all needs will be met immediately, without any red tape of getting authorizations from insurance, etc.
This is hard. It will continue to be hard. Hospice can soften it a bit.
The hospice place was quiet and peaceful and respectful. There were bird houses outside every window and pretty gardens all around. The nurses were amazing and very caring. I don't know how they do it. A chaplain was there but my father, who was very religious, tried preaching to him instead of accepting his counsel.
I was there for a week myself and stayed all day, either in dad's room or in a sitting area. Each day I would get online to check in with work and no one was ever bothered. My brothers and sisters and I would also visit together, discussing the difficult issues we were facing.
The hospice people made my dad's passing very peaceful for all of us. If he had stayed at home it would have been very difficult. His staying home wasn't even possible since he could no longer walk.
The hardest was when I had to leave to go back home in another state. I knew I wouldn't see Dad again but I still told him I would see him at Christmas as we planned. It was hard. But having such a peaceful place in which to face such a difficult thing was a blessing. When he did pass, a nurse was with him and they called the rest of the family and let them say good-bye. I think hospice workers are special people.