I really want my grandmother to branch out--and to cut back the TV! Has anybody solved this problem?

I think all of us who are not in their shoes can't possibly know what we are going to be like in 20 or 30 years and I'm starting to really believe that I can't make my mother better. That sounds stupid but I can't make her be the same person she was even 10 years ago. I get so depressed with her situation and mine because she lives here. BUT she is content watching Fox News. 14 hours a day. Just because I'm not thrilled with this., doesn't mean it's not working for her. I have to learn better coping skills.

jeannegibbs: The OP was asking a question. I posted. That's all. I retracted my entire post.

Rainbow: Ignore my prior post. Let granny sleep.

Ok other night owls. What is an OP?

OP = Original Poster

Llamalover47, did you think I was being sarcastic? I am sincerely interested in why you consider bingo better than television.

I am not Llamalover but I think Bingo is pretty awesome in Assisted Living! We were visiting and were there on Bingo night and it was fun! They only played for pennies and people would just get up and leave when their bedtimes came around. I offered to "call" but was told that as a visitor, I should be playing. I think I won 50 cents, lol. Had a great time. Most of the people around the table were having fun.

I had to accept that at 95, 16+ hours sleep daily is normal. 

"You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink."  Sometimes we just gotta let them have their own way.

RayLinStephens, my mom really liked weekly bingo in the nursing home. A large number of people did. And when a civic group or church organized a second session in some weeks many residents were very glad. My mother liked bingo as a much younger lady, too. I think that just being in a room full of other people having a good time is pleasant for many. And many like the aspect of gambling -- even if the prize is only a candy bar.

Not all residents liked bingo. They stayed in their rooms. Perhaps they watched television -- I don't know.

Given a choice between getting dressed to go out and play bingo or to sit at home in my comfortable recliner and watch movies or television, or better yet, to read, I'd choose to stay home every time. Maybe it would be "good for me" to get out and play a (to me) boring game of chance, I don't know. I do belong to two book clubs and I do get out to those meetings. I'm conscious of not isolating myself. But as an introvert I really need a whole lot less interaction to be satisfied than an extrovert might.

RainbowPrism wants to know how to get her GM active. There have been several suggestions of activities to encourage, and who knows, something that RainbowPrism hasn't thought of yet might click. I question the premise that doing anything is better than watching television.

It's really sad, but you know, there are elderly 'unicorns' who run marathons and do wonderful things up till they're 100, and then there are the rest of us. Life winds down at a certain point. My younger friends can't understand why I don't want to go out to bars and go visiting people and all that stuff - 1) I have lost my energy, I am actually, really, no-kidding TIRED and achey much of the time, 2) I don't like to drive after dark, it's not a cliche, I really hate driving after dark. My eyes are going bad. 3) The thought of karaoke and plowing through the mall Christmas shopping and having cocktails and listening to a band - I don't mind once in a while, but please, not at night. My energy is low at the end of the day, I can't drink and whoop it up as if I'm in my 20's again. I like to put on something comfortable in the evening and read, watch a movie, or work on a hobby, I don't feel like I'm 'missing' a thing 'out there'! That's what age does to you. We all adjust in our own way. Some of us are like The Golden Girls, out and about in the community and going on dates and having a whoopie! life. Some of us are unfortunates vegging in front of the vomitous Fox news. Or game shows, or Kartrashians.... Most of us are in between. We've been there, done that. Though someone comes and pick us up, drives us somewhere to a play or concert, arrange something fun? We are pretty often game up for it. (oh, what I wouldn't give to see The Who or Led Zeppelin again!!!) But Just telling us we should get up, get out there, do stuff? Shut. UP !

Lassie. Agree 200 percent. My husband and I had so much fun. For so long. Then some how I'm not 23, and he's not 27. Jeez he's 61 and I'm 56. And we watch Mannix and the original Hawaii 50 and are pretty happy with that

jeannegibbs: It was my bad...shouldn't have said it...

.... just curious lama, and complety off topic .. but how does one retract comments? (There's been a couple I've made that I would rather remove... so honestly how does one do that? I see no options to remove

Okay, now, Lassie, I have to say that most of the lamestream media news (CNN and PMSNBC in particular) is far more "vomitous" than Fox, lol. But to each his own. I don't know how anyone can sit in front of regular TV for any length of time, day or night, anyway. I use it to catch the local weather or news but mostly to fall asleep by. The internet is far more entertaining any day for me.

My mother was never much of a TV watcher. She preferred reading (murder mysteries) and playing freecell on her computer (she was good!). These decreased and disappeared as the Alzheimer's progressed. At the very end, when she was bed bound and rarely speaking, she was watching some TV. Her favorite show was Curious George and Wild Kratts. But especially Curious George. I know because when I was in her room she always looked at me with a happy smile. Except when Curious George was on then she looked around he at him. LOL

Ok, I just made myself cry. I miss her so much!

Give up!! Stop trying to get inside your grandmother's head. This is a generation thing - people forget that when your grandmother was growing up, two generations ago, the leisure-inactivity of old age was perceived as a "reward" for surviving to old age, which in those days was 65-70 years. It really is a pointless and thankless battle! And how sure are you that she is experiencing depression rather than resisting you?

There's an old saying" you can't teach an old dog new tricks". Just let her do what she wants. If she was social she'd figure out a way to do it.

My mom never watched much TV, but she did read and now she is not interested in reading. She has no interest in any social activity. My dad watches a lot of TV, but sleeps though a lot of it. I do see signs of depression in both of them, but they would chop off their arm rather than admit it.
I would say if the TV was a life long habit, you have to just accept it.
If she IS depressed, she may not admit it to the doctor - but you could ask her doctor to mention it on her next visit ( if you are not in the room, she might tell him)

My goodness. How time flies. I remember about 25 years ago going to visit my husbands grand parents in a nursing home. They had MTV on. Oblivious to eddy Van Halen they just had to have noise

Erin -- ha ha! And Eddie Van Halen is on the cusp of nursing-home age now. My how time flies! 📺🎸🛏

Tired1of4: There is a certain number of hours when you can edit or delete. In this case, I told the OP to let her loved one watch TV because the time to edit or delete had passed. Hope I answered your question.

Why? Television can be relaxing, educational, and serve as a friend to those who are ready to settle down and enjoy their golden years on their own terms. I don't understand why young people always think older people should do more. We've been there, done that. Respect your gramma and leave her alone. If you want to do something, do it. We're tired. Lol.

Hi Herbalist. Thanks for your input. I'm going to approach Fox News on now 24 hours a day differently. You are correct. My mom is 79. Travelled the world twice. Has dementia. Goes no where. What else entertains her. Except the dog of course. But thank you. I'll be less annoyed Trying really hard to be less annoyed.

You might try to get her to watch some beautiful nature shows, maybe get her some DVDs - music shows? Lawrence Welk is kind of stretching it, but what did she like when she was younger? Frank Sinatra, Tony Bennett. I think if she's going to be watching TV up to the bitter end, she might as well watch something nice and inspiring and uplifting. The sheer ugliness and hate of Fox News is a fate I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy in their dotage.

Lawrence Welk 24/7. JK

Lassie. I agree so much. When my daughter comes down to kitchen in the morning to make her breakfast. She wears head phones. She says it's so stressful. I tried to get her to watch Blue Bloods. She likes the religious theme in that show. She did once. She's just fixated on that channel. She now sleeps with Fox on. I don't think she understands all of the viewing. She couldn't follow the ( lack of better word) ticker tape on election night. Presidential race was above state/ local results. She asked me to explain that. What's really strange is she was a life long democrat. Loved President Kennnedy.

I feel your pain RainbowPrism. My 87 year old grandmother lives alone and is always watching Fox News. I personally find Fox News distasteful because it's fear mongering and right wing propaganda. She hardly leaves her house anymore except to go grocery shopping, doctors appointments and to get her nails done. But Fox News and not getting involved in anything has cost her a great deal. She panics over everything, lost a lot of social cues and has become incredibly selfish. This woman used to travel and do a lot of things but I don't know what happened that made her so disinterested. Crap, I know people in their 90's that are still traveling and do tons of other things. If she lives with you and you pay the cable bill, set the timer on the TV to limit the TV watching. When it goes off, tell her she has to find something else to do.

If that was directed to me Evermore. That's something I would never ever do. She's still my mom. She let me watch Casper the friendly ghost . Probably over and over again. No , i appreciate your comments. But no I just can't . That's part of my and probably many others problems We just can't be what would be perceived as mean to them by them. .

Erinm60, I didn't direct that to you. I didn't mean offense, it's hard when my grandmother is over and all she wants is Fox News on the big screen TV and we have blocked the channel and tell her the almighty no because it causes her panic attacks by watching Fox news.

Hi evermore. I can never tell who is responding to whom here ( correct?). Who whom ? I was not offended at all. Appreciate your input.  Sorry for coming across so harshly.  

You didn't come across as harsh, Erinm. It's tough when dealing with anybody who really doesn't do much of anything except TV no matter how old they are.

Thanks Evermore. Agree 100 percent