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Every time my mother is working downstairs, our grandmother constantly stares at her. Any help on how to remedy this situation?

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Oh my Lord, what a blessing all of these comments are! My mom is 83 now, she has Parkinson and I think some dementia, and now she just stares at me, everything I do. Like others, my initial reaction is annoyance, but thanks to all of your comments, I will remember the role reversal taking place, and when I see her staring instead of being annoyed, I'll maybe sit with her, strike up conversation about her, and just be there for her. It is so hard watching the demise of someone you love so greatly, and I just want to be sure to do all I can to let her know how very much I love her, and am here for her. Thanks so much again. Thank you.
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Thank you all sooooo much for your feedback, reading these will give my mom some solace.
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I have experienced the same thing with my Mother. She is 89 and I have been living with her just under a year. At first when she would do this I would ask "Do you need something?" She never did - just likes to watch me even when I am doing the simple tasks. The way that I get over the annoyance of this behavior is to just block it out. It took a while to be able to do this and I had to keep reminding myself that she is my Mother and I love her. Honestly I just wanted to scream at her to leave me alone but that would be too much re-visiting my teen years -hahaha. Now I just remember to be loving and patient and not make too much out of it.
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Hi libracat-I think you are witnessing role reversal-your mother has become the child and you are,in her mind, a mother figure. She wants attention much as a child-go on, hug her, play peek a boo-she is your baby now as you once were hers. If she was one of your grandchildren what would you do? :Play with them!" sure you would. I believe children and many old folks are angels of a sort. Some just left God and are starting on their journey we call life and others are at or nearing the end of the journey and returning to God. So treat them as angels, young or old. Love is timeless. When you described your mum I could have sworn you were talking about my lil gran daughter Addie-one of seven lights in my life!
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Hi there, my mother does this to me too and I think it's out of boredom in her case - she also doesn't like to be out of the loop and will come out into the hallway from her bedroom to see where I (or anybody else in the family) am -
she always wants to see who is where, and what they are doing. I guess it helps to keep her up on things. (What else does she have to do?)
It's annoying though to see her suddenly appear in the hallway, staring into the tv room - if you ask her if she wants anything, no, she doesn't. She also gives me the once-over and scrutinizes everything I wear, once asked me if I was going to wear my pajamas to the doctor!! She seems to have a predilection for starting at my body parts which I find very uncomfortable and embarrassing.
She will see me wearing a tshirt or a top and asks if it's new when she has seen it a million times before. Again, I think it's just out of boredom and I try to remember that her brain - at age 87 - is not functioning the way it used to, so I try to just let it slide. You have to!!
I am glad you asked this question, because I have been meaning to for some time now!
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Hello Chapel. I do not know your age but I would guess you are young. In my experience your grandmother is looking at your mother with love and thinking of times past. It could be that your grandmother is lonely and fixes her gaze on the one bright memory she has. Why not join her and offer her a cup of tea or even ask if she would like to help (if she can) or maybe you could just sit next to her and talk, Maybe you could ask her what she is thinking in a round about way and you may discover your grandmother feels alone and needs someone to give her a hug..
The reasons why are for you to find out. Maybe she has noticed you watching her and she wonders why you are watching her? Is there anything preventing you from joining the two of them; your mother and grandmother? I would think that three generations might have much to say to one another.
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There are lots of reason why. One maybe she see a bit of herself in you , or she knows she knows you but can not place who you are to her and the other she is remembering when you were her little girl. With dementia it is sometime hard to understand what is actually going on in their head. So just try to remember who she was to you.
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Does she have dementia? Maybe she is trying to figure out who you are.
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my mom does that too. I think its because they are confused, and we are comforting? I agree though, it is VERY annoying. I hate being stared at, but I try to remember its the disease...
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My mom does this to me too. Whenever I am in range of her sight...all she does is stare at me. It is as if she is in my back pocket. Maybe I would do this with my daughter as well? I do not think it means anything other than they love us and like looking at us thinking about the days when we were their little girls. It can be annoying on the person who is being stared at I know because it drives me nuts too. I think it is just out of boredom and/or loneliness too.
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