Grandparent refusing to get rid of dog. It's a huge danger to her. She believes it's her protector but she has already broken her pelvis and has fallen again... twice and who knows how many more times... she's in pain and refuses to go to the doctors and hospital. I'm afraid she will not get up if she falls again. What can I do? She refuses every advice!!!
My gma wants nothing to do with her daughter. This boils down to I need advice to go about how to remove this dog. Which You provided. Thank you!
So essentially what this boils down to is that your mother thinks your grandmother should be in the nearest nursing home, and your sister is hoping to offer her the better option of Assisted Living, and your grandmother won't hear of either idea?
If the dog is flea-ridden, not house-trained and in the charge of someone (that's grandma) who can't be relied on to provide it with food, water, exercise and veterinary attention as needed, you can call an animal welfare organisation and have it removed.
If your grandmother were that bothered about her wishes being respected, she would fill out the forms specifying her wishes and she would give somebody she trusts power of attorney. You can infer from her refusal to do these things that she chooses instead to be passive - to complain at length, while refusing to take up any of the options that would make a difference to what happens. That's the opposite of having a firm, fixed intention. Actions speak louder than words. Listen to them.
Her decline is sad for anyone who cares about her to witness. But that doesn't mean you have the power to prevent it, especially not if she won't work with you. I recommend you put your sister onto this site and let her vent. She is not alone in her frustrations, and she might genuinely find it comforting to hear from others who share her experience.
Actually, it isn't me. It's someone who truely puts in time to help her for all selfless reason. She is trying to help her as much as possible but with gma stubbornness it's like trying to ride a wild bull with your hands tied behind your back. She wants to live out gma wishes (while she's unresponsive in the hospital and doesn't want the state to take over.. talking about the POA) but also wants her to live a healthy clean life. It's not "her" dog. The dog is her adoptive sons dog who is moving out. Instead of taking the dog with him. He doesn't want the dog around the new baby... because it's not potty trained.. He convinced gma to keep the dog to protect her. See it's not that she loves the dog. She hates the dog.
I just want my gma to be happy and to live in a safe environment... and to stop seeing my sister cry because she fears she'll find gma dead because of that damn dog.
But you're telling her that you want to take her dog away, drag her out of her home, force medical attention on her and lock her away in care. Strangely, she's not taking you up on the offer.
Call APS, or whichever social services apply in your area, report that there is an elderly lady living alone who has a fractured pelvis, is immobile, and is not accepting help with meals or medical attention. They will call at her house and carry out an assessment. If they then agree that there is a need for it, they can make things happen that you, a private citizen, can't.