She lives in an AL and is well cared for but is still lonely. She wants me to come over all the time and makes me feel guilty if I go to do something with someone else. I feel I should still do things with my family and friends and not feel guilty about it. I feel bad that she is the way she is but when I am with her it is all about her. Everything needs to be about her and she will whine about things until she gets what she wants. She is also very slow so to take her out to eat and go to Walmart is an all day event and that usually isn't enough for her. I have a family and a house to take care of too so if I spend too much time with her I feel guilty about not being home and neglecting other things I need to do. Feeling depressed and worn out.
1.) Yourself, your health, your emotional wellbeing
2.) Husband, family, health and well-being of your family
3.) Mom, in AL, she's being cared for, visit when you can. Supplement with phone calls.
I am in the same position, and I only visit my mother two times a week. One is during my lunch hour, and one is on the weekend. That is it. I have finally let go of the self-induced guilt, and I am getting ready to retire. Visits will not increase just change to daytime visits during the week during the day. (My mother lived with me for 25 years after my father died. I deserve the right to continue on with my life at this point.)
Go and have fun, you are not doing anything wrong.