Has anybody with LO in MCF ever been told by upper management "if you've lost confidence/trust in us, we'd understand if you moved your LO?"

I would call that dangerously close to a threat. They are trying to intimidate you into not asking awkward questions.

Add it to the complaint you're about to make, yes?

They have told you twice now that your concerns are not their concerns. Pull out your criteria and your analysis of this facility. Drill down on your level of expectation. Do you seem to be alone in your concerns?
Perhaps talk to a couple of other facilities to see if you are being unrealistic for your area and price range. Sometimes we have to choose which things are most important and accept we can’t have all that we feel our loved one deserves. Sometimes we are numbed out and accept below par standards.
You are the advocate but you didn’t create the situation.
I was told in a very urgent situation that a facility “felt they could not meet my expectations”. Hard to hear but they were right. The next place exceeded my expectations. Good luck and let us know how you resolve this. We learn from one another.

I just got another call from my mother's MC........she's fallen AGAIN, making this the 6th fall in MC, and a total of 42 falls altogether while she's been in Assisted Living since 2014. She is now transferring alone from her wheelchair to her bed, and thus the fall. As her dementia progresses, she's even MORE stubborn than ever before, which is difficult to comprehend. This time, she did get a skin tear on her arm. Amazingly enough, she's never been to the hospital *yet* for any of her falls. And they've called me for EACH and every one.

I know the ED and the nurses there very well. They would never, ever tell me they'd understand if I lost confidence in them and wanted to move my mother out. That is not a professional statement, nor is it one that instills confidence in YOU, as the daughter who's responsible for your mother.

If this were happening to me, I'd be looking around at other MCs for my mother. They're popping up like flowers and there is a lot of competition out there these days. If you are not comfortable with this MC, and you shouldn't be, then there are MANY other options out there for you. Yes, it's an aggravation to get her moved, etc. But in the end, if it brings you peace of mind and better care for your mom, not to mention no stupid comments such as the ones you've been getting, it will be well worth the extra effort.

Good luck!

I think this is a problem with most of these facilities. There is so much demand that they can afford to lose residents. They know that if half their resident left today they'd have those bed filled tomorrow.

If there is a market for the rooms in the MCF, and you present a "problem" for them (or your loved one does), yes, that is what you will hear. It is a nicer way of saying "You are making problems for us and we don't intend to address them and would prefer you move on because we don't need you". It is a matter of business and a matter of customer service and how much must be provided to keep an adequate flow of "customers". It is not just said in this circumstance, but in almost any, and I have had myself in the past to say "It seems that we cannot make you happy; while we are disappointed we cannot, we would understand if you chose to take your business elsewhere". Basically you should respond just as you did here, which is to "call them on it" and say "I never suggested that I wished to move elsewhere. This isn't a criticism of general management. Rather this is a specific circumstance I hope that we can pursue a solution for working TOGETHER." You are essentially then doing "corporate speak" right back at them. If it goes too far, however, you are on the losing end if basically you or your elder are happy overall with the service. They live in fear and WE live in fear that they will lose their placement. I know we all can identify with that fear in an overall good placement.
Wishing you luck. Try not to take it personally. They just proved to you that there is no real "personal" relationship here. They are selling something you need. Stay calm. Stay pleasant.