Truly sad. Mom's facility set up FaceTime for us to see and chat with our loved ones. My mother was clueless as to who I am and was not interested in talking to me. She just held her "baby" doll. I know that when this is over and I can physically be with her, she will be completely lost to me. As of now, she is stage 6c, and she has fallen twice in a week. As if this disease isn't hard enough, being quarantined on both seems harder.
I don't have a clue how Mom will react to me when I am able to visit. In a way, I am thankful that she doesn't know what's going on and that she doesn't remember if I've been there or not. Still doesn't make it easier to process...
i feel the only thing we can do in these hard times is to have patience and hope for the best. I had to put my mom in a Elzeimer home on Feb 15th, I was visiting her every 2 days and speaking in the phone every other day. I went to see her last Monday and spoke to her from the window, she didn’t understand why I was not going inside to see her! ( may not have been a good idea unfortunately) since then, she has been very agitated, agressive and sad day and night.. to a point they had to communicate with our doctor for medication to calm her. Hopefully the medication will help! Not only I can’t see her or talk to her now (they told me to wait until she is stabilized) but now.. I am crazy worried about her. This whole situation breaks my heart... only thing I can do is be patient and hope things will get better.
best of luck!
If you can go and visit via saying hello through the window, if possible, that might help some also. At least the weather is warmer.
My mom is not yet in late stage dementia - she understands what’s going on in her environment and she knows us and calls us on the phone but she’s also seriously having hallucinations.
I also suspect that we who are “locked out” are suffering more than the LOs that we’re missing so.
Early in the lockdown I received a call that she’d been found on the floor by her bathroom, which happens once in a while, and with my permission, the procedure is to go over her carefully and observe her for 1/2 hour or so, and if everything seems OK, to let her remain in her own environment. Then I breathe and say a prayer of gratitude that she’s being kept as safe as possible in an environment that she is familiar with.
I can’t make any assumptions about what I’ll find the next time I’m able to actually see her. She has surprised me before, several times, in both her down times AND some very sweet up times too, so I look forward to seeing her, taking some familiar old photos, and drawing her back into our life together as far as I can.
I'm so grateful for the angels caring for her and know they have their hands fuller than full with the lockdowns and lack of incoming entertainment and outings they had before. The main mission now is just keeping everyone safe and healthy.
Hopefully we will all get through this and our new normal will be something none of us takes for granted.
My son is (now was?) very good about visiting his grandmother with Alzheimer's. At one point, he said 'She doesn't know who I am now.' I told him to think of her like an infant. An infant 'knows' which people are the regular caregivers. An infant can't indicate they recognize you but they will quiet down when held by strangers as they check out the situation. They will become active when the parent comes in to feed them because they 'recognize' them.
Your mom will feel your love when you are with her again. I am sure of that.
With two of my grandmas it truly became about the joy or happiness in the moment. One would tell me that her daughter never visited while she was sitting next to her, but she would have a good time visiting us, whomever we were. The other became completely nonverbal but loved her baby.
Hugs! Just love her and know that she is doing okay, you will be okay too.
One thing that I recommend is playing catch with a plush stuffed animal (lots of parts to grab), it helps bring them into the moment and usually gives everyone a good giggle.