Hi all. Well, my sweet mama fell on Thursday evening and broke her humerus in dominant arm. She also bruised her face as her head struck the wall. We are very fortunate there was no internal bleed as she is on Eloquis twice daily. Aside from breaking my heart to see her in pain I am really afraid she might not be able to come home again after this incident. She turned 94 on Monday and although I definitely feel overwhelmed being her live in and primary care giver but boy does the thought of mama not coming home make me incredibly sad. I feel awful when I leave her each day at the rehab. We have been in rehab before but with each incident my anxiety gets higher as she is getting older and more frail. I simply cannot afford to cut back my hours any more than I already have and am really worried as this is a major setback for her. Anyone had similar experience? How did things work out?
She was in a rehab facility for about 6 weeks, then mom tried to take her home. That lasted less than a week.
She ASKED to be moved to a NH near her condo. She never went back to her condo, instead, she decided she was now going to die. She was really organized that way. While there, she slowly began the final slip.
Mom and I cleaned and sorted her condo, Gma was very much in charge. It felt so weird to be packing all her stuff away when she was still alive, but she was planning to die, and by golly, she did.
If she had WANTED to heal and go back home, I am sure she would have. But she was DONE.
She recovered at home and after the removal of the cast, it took the pain several more months to subside. She was going to PT to try to regain strength and movement. She did her exercises faithfully as she was very motivated to return to "normal".
Honestly it is hard to know what is now normal aging or what is a result of the injury. She also has arthritis in her hands and other parts of her body. She needs help getting lids off jars, zipping up, tieing her shoes, things like that. She still drives, does yardwork and housecleaning, etc.
At our Moms' ages recovery takes so much longer and can be discouraging. Normal age-related decline is hidden in the mix, so I don't think anyone can give you an accurate answer to your question because it all depends on the individual.
I highly recommend she do PT faithfully and keep reminding her to be patient about how long it takes for her recovery. If she simply lost her balance and fell, I'd have PT work on that as well (my Mom was doing performing an unusual maneuver while wearing flipflops and moving backwards, then tripped over the shoes). Chances are your Mom won't get back to where she was before her fall but she may get close. I wish you both all the best!
When my dad was 91, he fell at home in his independent living apartment and broke his hip (refusing to use a walker). After the hospital surgically repaired his hip, he was sent to rehab where he made no progress; Medicare stopped paying for his stay and they insisted he stay there permanently in their long term care (Skilled Nursing) section of the facility. I said no b/c mom was alive and they needed to stay together. So I found them both an Assisted Living facility to live in together, and with PT, dad started to make some progress. But he had a brain tumor (that was discovered during an MRI after the fall) and that wound up killing him 10 months later. His broken hip turned out to be a major setback indeed, but mostly b/c he had a brain tumor and never was able to walk again afterward.
What's important with your mom is that she can make the necessary progress in rehab TO come back home. If so, great. If not, then you can discuss alternatives, such as hiring in home help to be there with her when you aren't.
Wishing you and mom the best of luck and a full recovery for her.
I'm expecting it to be a disaster but I'll let you know.
Your mom may do much better considering it was just her arm, but will need significantly more help.
She will do rehabilitation at the facility for a 3-4 weeks and then hopefully home again.
I have a meeting with her treatment team tomorrow morning to discuss treatment plan, expectations and so forth.
I hope your mom continues to be as independent as possible and stays healthy!
She (and me) were in the hospital for 8 days and she came back home with me instead of going into a rehab facility.
She began physical therapy twice each week, and I also worked with her daily to regain her strength and mobility.
She healed amazingly and is still going strong at 95.
I think the most important thing is for your Mom to literally use her whole body (I don't mean working out, I mean physical therapy and daily activities of living) while she is recovering. My father passed away Aug 31 -- end stage heart failure and kidney failure; his visiting nurse explained that the problem was that he lost pretty much all mobility a few weeks before the end. Our organs and vascular systems require physical activity.
Final note: I would speak to her surgeon or PCP about helping her remain physically active, if you can. Also please bear in mind that Tylenol can do wonders for pain without the negative effects of a pain medication.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's hard to grieve the loss of a parent while they are still alive but as my father told me several years ago, this may be the hardest part. And you will be ok. It's going to be OK.
Take care,
Rachel
I wrote this to say you have to go with your gut, because we don't really have the final say over life and death. In advanced age, anything can happen at any time. Just by reading other's stories here, you can see the endings vary. You know your Mom better than anyone else - do what you feel is the right thing to do, and prepare yourself to live with the outcome. I wish you and Mom a happy outcome!
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