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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Also, is the bathroom light on during the night so that your husband can see where the toilet is? You might need to keep the bathroom light on all night or put a bright motion sensor nightlight in the bathroom so that your husband can see the toilet.
I like the backwards walker idea. It does work quite well to help balance a person while they are standing in front of the toilet or when they are getting up from sitting on the toilet.
His bedroom has its own bathroom so at night he'd be using that one. This is the "community" toilet, in the hall so it's kinda gross to find the urine on the vanity. Also, he doesn't wipe when he poos. He won't use a walker even though his knee is so bad he should. I'm not sure if the walker over the toilet would be used but it sure is worth a try.
The sink is also more "urinal looking" and that might be where the brain is... Do you have a standard height toilet or a tall one with an elongated bowl? The tall elongated ones are much easier for aiming. If it is a balance problem line DeeAnna mentioned you could try placing a walker backwards over the the toilet, pushed back so that the hand can hold the grip while standing. Also makes it easier to get up when sitting. Another option is to try to get him to sit down when using the toilet. Easier for the balance as well as preventing dribbles.
Thanks Grandma1954. The sink is in a vanity. I wouldn't think it looks like a urinal but who knows what dad's mind sees. Instead of a walker maybe some rails on the walls next to the toilet to help him up and down. Idk. He might be used to peeing in the sink now. Balance could be a option too, why he doesn't want to stand. Thanks for your help.
You say in your profile that you are caring for your father “from a distance” and there’s a possibility that you will soon be caring for MIL? And your husband is having cognitive issues as well and peeing in the sink? Are you responsible for caring for all these people without help? And you have a teenager as well? Wow.
Has your husband been tested and evaluated for dementia? At the least, he may need to start wearing adult incontinence briefs. And, he probably needs supervision when he heads for the bathroom. He is obviously becoming confused and needs someone to point him in the right direction in the bathroom. He should also be supervised in other areas of your home as well to keep him safe. And, unsolicited advice, but if hubby tests out to have dementia, I would very, very carefully think over taking on the care of your mother-in-law in addition to your father and your husband.
Hi Ahmijoy: I am caring for my dad from a distance. He lives 70 miles away. My daughter and her family live with him now and I have a paid caregiver than comes in at noon to do lunch and dinner and dad's laundry and some light housework. My husband's health is fine, he actually has been through this whole thing with me and my dad's dementia getting worse. MIL is currently in hospital with delusions. Don't know what's going on with her. She is very sick. She is in San Diego. 10 hour drive from us and we have a Geriatric Care Manager to deal with her needs. Yep, son on autism spectrum still at home. He's high functioning but he does have his needs. Good idea to have care giver follow dad to bathroom. Maybe she can help get dad to use the toilet. It's a normal toilet. Not high, not low. Thanks for your advice.
At a couple of nursing homes that I worked at (several years ago), some of the male residents would use the bathroom sink instead of the toilet. A couple of the men were tall and the sink was the "proper height" for them while the toilet was too low to stand in front of. Also, they used the counter to help balance them as they peed. They kept losing their balance if they stood in front of the toilet and they did not want to sit down to pee.
Maybe your husband is having problems with his balance and is using the counter to support his body while peeing. 😃
Hi DeeAnna: I think this might be the case. It is actually my dad and not my husband. Idk why I said husband. I guess lots of women on here caring for husbands. He is 6'2" and has a very painful knee so I thought he might be peeing in the sink because he doesn't want to bend the bad knee. I was just wondering if others had experienced this. I can't ask him because he wouldn't remember anyway. Thanks for posting.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I like the backwards walker idea. It does work quite well to help balance a person while they are standing in front of the toilet or when they are getting up from sitting on the toilet.
Do you have a standard height toilet or a tall one with an elongated bowl? The tall elongated ones are much easier for aiming.
If it is a balance problem line DeeAnna mentioned you could try placing a walker backwards over the the toilet, pushed back so that the hand can hold the grip while standing. Also makes it easier to get up when sitting.
Another option is to try to get him to sit down when using the toilet. Easier for the balance as well as preventing dribbles.
Has your husband been tested and evaluated for dementia? At the least, he may need to start wearing adult incontinence briefs. And, he probably needs supervision when he heads for the bathroom. He is obviously becoming confused and needs someone to point him in the right direction in the bathroom. He should also be supervised in other areas of your home as well to keep him safe. And, unsolicited advice, but if hubby tests out to have dementia, I would very, very carefully think over taking on the care of your mother-in-law in addition to your father and your husband.
Maybe your husband is having problems with his balance and is using the counter to support his body while peeing. 😃