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I got my mom a life alert button. She managed to fall and was on the floor all day long until I came after work to visit and found her there. I asked her where her life alert button was and found it on her dresser. She didn't even remember what it was for. Thank God she wasn't hurt. Told me she had just laid down to take a nap (on the floor?) It was after that, that I moved her into assisted living. The buttons are only good if they wear them and remember how to use them.
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Val3rie Feb 2019
My MIL fell in her apartment...she said she didn't but she forgot she had her life alert on her wrist and it wasn't until no one could get her to answer her door [in an apartment building] that someone was able to check on her.
No one called those of us who have keys.
She is eligible for 2 hrs of care a week.
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I don't see anything wrong with leaving her for short errands. You being home won't really prevent any falls. Nothing reasonable can prevent falls. It's whether she can be cared for after the fall. It's not like you will be leaving her on the floor for 10 hours. Many facilities don't check on people more than every couple of hours. I've been in ERs where the alarm goes off and no one comes by for a long time.

You can do technological things. Install cameras so you can check in every few minutes or constantly if your mobile data plan is big enough. Just glance at your phone every few minutes to check in on mom.

Instead of a life alert I would get an iwatch. It has fall detection and they are working on other things like heart conditions. So they will be able to detect problems even if there is no fall. The watch can contact you and/or emergency services. You decide. Apple is talking with health insurance companies to possibly issue them to the elderly. Since monitoring people this way is far cheaper to paying for a human sitter and you get better data. A gait detector can actually detect a fall before it happens. Which a human isn't really good at.
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NeedHelpWithMom Feb 2019
Camera is a great idea!
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My aunt fell and sprained her knee. Not bad but still a fall and a bit of a recovery. She had a Medialert bracelet that she wasn’t wearing. After the fall the company upgraded her to a pendant that she wears around her neck tucked in her blouse. It is supposed to call automatically if she should fall. No need to press the button. I’m not 100% convinced that would actually happen but when she presses the button accidentally, they are there very soon. They call me to let me know and since I also have cameras, I can see that she is fine.
If a care provider tried to intimidate me I would let them go and find another agency. Your mom sounds fine. As others have said, anyone can fall at any time. You aren’t gone for days, just a couple of hours I imagine.
My mom was one who fell and wouldn’t use the button. She waited for my brother. She knew she wasn’t hurt and didn’t have any confidence that she could get the ambulance driver to listen to her and not take her to the local ER where we all believed real danger existed.

But my mom had neighbors who did need an ER and used theirs and got the help they needed.

Many seniors are home alone and not under the watchful eye of a daughter or a Medialert as it is their right to be. You are obviously doing a great job.
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I hate to say it but to me it sounds like the agency is, on purpose or not, kind of "upselling" you on hiring them for more shifts thus giving them more money.

The reality is there is no perfect system, you have planned for various contingencies according to your best judgement, and there is only so much money.

I think I would give this agency info about the intricacies of your family's schedule and the finer points of your personal household arrangements only on a purely need to know basis. To be perfectly frank, they are the hired help.
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sandola Feb 2019
I'm with SnoopyLove. It sounds like they are trying to make more money. I had one that tried to get me to use them 24/7, when I was only using them for overnights and private CNAs (who cost less) for the rest. It was my gut feeling their "concern" was for billing for as many hours as they could.

They were good at their job - it was one main person who came - and I like the woman at the agency and I will use them again, but for $20/hr I use them as little as possible. Mom only has so much $ and it only goes so far. The other people who I knew personally were only $15/hr, but they couldn't do overnights. Anyway - I don't see how this agency can report you, OP. In fact, you can tell them that you now always have someone with her. How would they know?

Edited to say that my mom has Phillips Lifeline and I don't know if she would push the button if she fell. I don't know if she would remember that she has the bracelet on. She won't wear the necklace with fall detection.
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A couple thoughts,

I used to work for Podiatrist and most our patients were seniors. I would chat with the care givers that brought the frailer patients into the office. A common remark was that Mum or Uncle Jim and fallen and refused to push the button. We had this happen in our family too. Aunt Ruth fell when she got up during the night, her alert necklace was on the bedside table and she could not reach it. She was found 2 days later, still alive, but in kidney failure. She lived entirely alone (no dementia) until age 96.

Would your Mum push the button if she fell, or would she wait for you to come home? How do you have the Life Alert set up? Does it call directly to emergency services or do it call you first? How long would it take you to get home, then how long would it take for an ambulance to get there, if you could not get her up or if she was injured?

Even if your mother was in a nursing home, she would not be under the gaze or within arms reach of the staff 24/7. Even the caregivers who you pay to come watch Mum have to use the Loo, make meal and otherwise are not within arms reach at all times.

It is a fine balancing act and I do not see anything wrong with the system you have in place. You ensure there are people there when you have to be away for a long period of time and you have a safety device in place for when you just need to make a quick trip.
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Cwillie, she still has her faculties and normally sits and watches TV when I'm gone. I was wondering if an agency could report me as neglecting her. I suppose I'll have to bite the bullet and hire more care. Thanks, everyone, for the comments!
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needtowashhair Feb 2019
What would they possibly report you for? Your mom still has her faculties. You aren't her guardian. It's not against the law for someone competent to stay at home by themselves. Any agency making frivolous complaints like that wouldn't last very long at all.
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Is she cognitively impaired? Is she often up feeling agitated, prowling around and and doing something risky while you are out, or does she tend to wait patiently for your return? Personally I see nothing wrong with her being left on her own for short periods of time, I did it myself (with the full approval of our health care team) and never had any problems, but each situation is different. It is an unfortunate fact of life that falls can happen even when a caregiver is there so never leaving her on her own is no assurance of her safety, but is also a fact of life that a CNA or agency who want to make trouble can report you as neglecting her while you are out.
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Yes, they do provide for the hours I requested, but they are giving me their free opinion. I don't know why they are being pushy about it. I had mentioned to them I use Life Alert when running to the store and they didn't like that. I do have limited options, 2 siblings cover for half days every other Saturday. Lately I've been doing grocery/Target deliveries instead of going to the store.
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gladimhere Feb 2019
They may be concerned about something going wrong while you are running errands. What if you were injured in an accident of some kind? Or if you had a medical emergency and not able to respond or speak?
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I'm not sure I understand the issue. The agency provides a caretaker for the times you request, right? So, why are they telling you what to do when they are not there or involved with her care? Are they just giving you a free opinion? It might be a good one, but, I don't get what it has to do with them providing you a caretaker for designated times. Some people can't afford 24/7 caretakers. Do you have other options? I do know that sometimes when a senior falls, they are not able to press alert button. Not sure why, but, it just happens that way.
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