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is there any help that the VA can give to help in assisting with the care my father needs at home. All of the children work and my mother is ubable to lift and bathe as needed.Can they actually have someone to and sit with her to assist in these types of activities. PLEASE HELP

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Contact your Father's doctor for reference to an in home health provider. If he is on medicare their services shouldn't cost you at all. They will come out and do an assessment to determine what services you Father needs and discuss options with you and your Mother. They will also get whatever equipment is needed delivered to your home.

The VA process can take several months and involves tons of paperwork. It is a great benefit but not one you can count on in the immediate future. I've been told it can take 3 to 6 months for benefits to start; however, they are retroactive to the date the application is received. If patient dies during that time, you would still receive benefits from date of application through date of death.
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There are also independent insurance agents, which will provide the assistance you need if you have the right insurance company.
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ldedeaux, there is a VA benefit that will help pay for a cg if your parents qualify. I believe the benefit is somewhere around $2K a month. There are income restrictions for the benefit. You should have a local representative (usually an attorney) who will help you with the application. The application is free, though the attorney might charge a nominal fee for handling your case. Our local VA attorney works pro bono. (Yes, there are angels in this world.) You can apply to see if your father qualifies and if he will follow through on requirements. There are also benefits for widows of veterans for anyone that may need them.
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