She is in a wheel chair and can do very little for herself. So how can I leave - it does me very little to get home care when I still can't leave for more than a few hours. The only other thing is a nursing home which she doesn't want and I don't either.
Do you take her blood sugar first and set the dosage based on that? Or is the same dosage given each time?
First, talk to her doctor about the level of care she needs. She needs someone who can administer shots, or at least set up a shot for her to give herself. (Can she do it if it is all ready for her?)
Then, discuss with the doctor how to make the shot process as simple and fool-proof as it can be. If she is not using a pen, that should be the first change, to simplify the whole procedure. If she is now on a variable dose that has to be calculated for each meal-time shot, is there a way that it could be changed to a constant dose for each meal? Is she always dressed in a way that makes exposing the area of the shot easy?
I know that some in-home health workers cannot give medication. If you had one who could do it come in for a half-an-hour at the noon meal, would that help you? Would it help you to have a nurse come in once a week to give the shot and take her vitals, etc.? (This would be in addition to the aide you have now.) If it is not possible to get the level of care that can give shots for the full time every day, try to negotiate at least some relief for some days.
I don't think anybody would want her to go to a nursing home just over the shots issue. It is not what you want, it is not what she wants, and it is a very expensive option. I'm betting you can get this worked out. Start by talking to her doctor.
Sans THAT, ask the doctor if he can prescribe another vehicle for the insulin. A patch?? I don't know what that might be, but for two of the four shots a day, I'm betting there's something else...