My mom and I met with the hospice case manager yesterday, and Hospice sounds like assisted suicide to me. Mom has congestive heart failure (she just told me that yesterday) end stage of COPD, asthma, cronic asperated pnemonia, panic attacks, etc, so we meet with the Hospice case manager, at the encouragement of Moms hopsital case manager. And they want her to be a DNR, and if she has trouble breathing then they will help her work thru it. If she gets to the point she cannot breathe, don't call 911, but for ME to administer the meds... are they serious !!!! So let me understand this... Mom can't breathe, so I am supposed to be ok with giving her a medication that will relax her so she can stop breathing...? ! ? I don't think I'm ok with this at all.
Everyone said "oh hospice is just wonderful." What I see is assisted suicide, and everyone else standing on the other side of the fence saying oh look, she has hospice, her daughter will be so supported we don't need to do anything to hel[ now...
People who do accept it generally accept that their loved one is at the end of life's journey. They believe that the outcome will be death, relatively soon. With medical advice, they believe that there is no cure for their loved one's condition, and no way to regain a quality of life. They do not want to prolong their loved one's suffering. They want the inevitable end we all share, death, to come naturally but also while providing comfort and reducing pain. They want help for themselves in understanding the process of dying, to help them accept the end.
What was your mom's reaction to the meeting with Hospice? Many people try to honor their loved one's wishes, whether it matches their own preference or not. Is your mother able to comprehend what was discussed? Did she express her preferences?
Like many people, I do not think of a DNR order as a wish to die. I do not think of death without medical intervention as suicide. You have every right to your own views and to make your own decisions, along with your mother. I hope you will not judge others harshly if they have other views.
I wish you peace with whatever decision you make. May you have strength as you face what lies ahead.
Shortmomma, I don't blame you for not wanting to administer the morphine, or whatever the drug is they are talking about. Can one of the hospice nurses be responsible for administering the medication? I am sorry you are going through this....God bless...
I've had people say that their loved ones' condition was like a "big elephant" in the house until Hospice arrived. Families usually come together as a unit at this time and talk about things they should have shared years ago. Perhaps having us there helps them feel less burdened and they are able to open up to each other.
I am so sorry for your loss and I am glad you were able to spend time with your Mother. I am sure it meant a lot to both of you. God bless!
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