I was a hospice volunteer for seven years and then worked as a manager of volunteers for hospice for the next seven years. They were some of the best years of my life. You learn a lot from the experience. All volunteers are screened and trained as well as taught boundaries and personal care skills. I never had a patient have a blow out during my visits but did help with an occasional trip to the bathroom. You can always call in to the hospice and get direction if you have a situation you can’t handle. (I didn’t think I could do it either before I took my first patient) I will probably go back to doing it after the caregiving with my Mom ends. (After a nice vacation and some time goes by!) Best job and learning experience in my life. Try it. If it’s not for you there are usually always volunteer opportunities in the office.
Mum was a hospice volunteer for quite a few years. Here the volunteers provided companionship, not care. The visiting volunteer program has stopped as they did not have enough volunteers to continue. So the focus was on building a hospice facility.
Mum had two types of volunteer shifts, one was to provide companionship to the dying, in their home, the hospital etc. She could be reading, watching a show, playing games, writing letters, or just talking with the patient. Mum would feed the patient if needed. The idea was to give the family a bit of respite, enough time to make calls, have a meal, nap, run a short errand etc.
One family, former neighbours of Mum, specifically asked for Mum to come. They were a very private family, but had public facing jobs. It was important to have someone they knew.
The other volunteer role was a death vigil. Mum did many of these too, but no one died while she was on shift. Often over night, but not always, these were for both people without a family and for families who needed extra support in the last hours. In these cases, Mum was there to support the family, make tea or coffee, light meals, simple tasks. The volunteers were trained on next steps, who to call etc, if the patient died on their shift.
My experiences with volunteer visitors is that they are angels. My Mom, 96, has been in memory care almost 6 years. For the first 2 years an amazing woman who had been widowed just 3 months before she agreed to help, would visit Mom 2 or 3 times a month. She said her husband had been on hospice and the volunteer visitors had been so kind, she wanted to pay it forward. She would trim. file and apply polish to Mom's nails while they just sat and visited. Then once she was placed on hospice (for the first time 22 months) another angel, Jack, came at least 2 times per month. He would just sit and listen if she was in a talking mood, or read to her if she was not talking. Covid put an end to those visits, but I am still occasionally in touch with him to update him on Mom's status (she is back on hospice, but they do not have any volunteer visitors right now). Everytime I thanked either of them, the reply was the same "It was my honor to spend time with her". I know it is not something I can do, but I thank God for them every night.
Volunteer I am, but not Hospice. I was asked by the director of the assisted living home, where my mom was for several years, to come by and visit the other people there. The director said not everyone has a family member like me to visit on a regular basis and they saw how much difference it made for my mom. So I visit to see one particular man who is really with it mentally, while the other people there have dementia and can't really communicate on his level. It gives me joy to help, but as far as the caregivers and hospice people I've met over the years, I have no idea how they do it. They are angels. They are givers. The three ladies who came to sing for my mom at the time it was obvious she was on her way out will always be in my memory. The care, the sacrifice of valuable time, the beauty of their voices that went only to only her, a stranger to them, was profoundly amazing. I think it is their calling and they need to do it.
PeggySue2020: Quite fortunately, my mother had a friend who was an LPN who worked pro bono for my mother until I could arrive from out of state and in with my mother to care for her. I know this is not an answer to your query.
We are informed that we are not to change adult diapers or do toileting or personal care but there are times that just calls for common sense. If we are watching a loved one in a home situation then you do what needs to be done but that is really up to the volunteer. Not every hospice patient needs this kind of care andI I discuss this with the family caring for the hospice patient up front so that he/she/they can feel comfortable leaving for that period of time.
Peggy, when you volunteer to help the elderly, you learn early on to have good boundaries.
I think everyone that does this has been caught out by the mission creep of an overly needy senior. I, also believe, that everyone should do this type of volunteer work before they take on family members care.
I, personally, learned how to determine need vs. want, how to deflect, what behaviors look like in seniors and how to say no without guilt, plus a hundred other things.
Mostly, I learned that we can love people right where they are in their season of life, even when they are super difficult or dying.
I have made some dear friends and I have had to walk away from some people but, I wouldn't change a thing because we ALL need compassion and care sooner or later and I can give that.
Oh, to address what to do if there is a blow out or something? You deal with it. Of course, as a volunteer you are told what you can and can't do but, you use your own common sense and do what needs to be done.
I have never ran across this situation though. Most people don't use volunteers when incontinence is an issue.
Peggs Sue, I know exactly what you are talking about because I'm dealing with it with caretaking for my dad. My mom passed this past Feb. I can finally type this without crying....oops wait..maybe not. Ok I'm back. My dad never, ever had a mean bone in his body but he's called me names and says I'm the problem. After I rush to be by his side at assisted living. He needed me there NOW to explain to him why he's losing his memory. By the time I got there, I asked the nurse to go up with me to help calm him down. By then, 15 min later, he had forgotten and said I'm the one going crazy. So I get it. I really do. My aunt on hospice that I loved dearly and who loved me, wanted me thrown out because I was putting lotion on her arms. You have to have some thick skin to do that type of job. I feel like I could do it for others much easier than I can for my family. I'm too invested and love them so much I can t be objective. Now that I'm back at my home, 1 hour away, I can't stop everything and run to his aid regarding his memory. I try to calm him by phone. Then call the assisted living and have them check on him. But back to what you said, it's not people in their right mind calling you names or grabbing at you thinking you are their shadow. If you know this going in, I think it would be a lot less stress. But I agree, you need support if going about it on your own!!!! Xoxo
I was a hospice volunteer for 8 1/2 years and loved every minute of it. A lot of my patients were in nursing facilities and many had no family or friends that came to visit, and so for me I thought it was important to let them know that someone cared about them and even loved them, as yes, many of them I came to love. I would read the Bible to them, play music and sing with them, take them outside for walks, and just be there for them. When my grandchildren were staying with me, I would bring them along too, as I wanted to teach them at a young age the importance of doing for others. To me it was an honor to spend time with someone who didn't have long to live, and to just be able to bring a little joy into their lives and put a smile on their faces. And while it was I who was wanting to bring them joy, I learned very early on that I was receiving even more joy from them. So it was a win win situation for all involved. I had to stop volunteering when my husband's health started declining more, and have missed it ever since. I plan on volunteering with hospice again now that my husband is gone, but for now I am just spending some time with the mother of one of the ladies in my caregiver's support group a couple days a week, who is in a Memory Care facility, just to give her a break. And she too is under hospice care.
I can see how one would do this through their church, as church is itself a community. A pastor or peer support would be more available, whereas say many ppl who sign on to volunteer outside church are relatively isolated.
Ive always heard that the volunteers aren’t to do hands on. So what happens in a 2-4 hour shift when…
An elder looses his bowel and bladder all over themselves and furniture. How do you not clean that up?
Or elders who lash out to get their shadow back? Elders who call you racist names?
Or the elder does attach, but then wants you to do more, is calling you, wants you to be their new family.
Mum had two types of volunteer shifts, one was to provide companionship to the dying, in their home, the hospital etc. She could be reading, watching a show, playing games, writing letters, or just talking with the patient. Mum would feed the patient if needed. The idea was to give the family a bit of respite, enough time to make calls, have a meal, nap, run a short errand etc.
One family, former neighbours of Mum, specifically asked for Mum to come. They were a very private family, but had public facing jobs. It was important to have someone they knew.
The other volunteer role was a death vigil. Mum did many of these too, but no one died while she was on shift. Often over night, but not always, these were for both people without a family and for families who needed extra support in the last hours. In these cases, Mum was there to support the family, make tea or coffee, light meals, simple tasks. The volunteers were trained on next steps, who to call etc, if the patient died on their shift.
I think everyone that does this has been caught out by the mission creep of an overly needy senior. I, also believe, that everyone should do this type of volunteer work before they take on family members care.
I, personally, learned how to determine need vs. want, how to deflect, what behaviors look like in seniors and how to say no without guilt, plus a hundred other things.
Mostly, I learned that we can love people right where they are in their season of life, even when they are super difficult or dying.
I have made some dear friends and I have had to walk away from some people but, I wouldn't change a thing because we ALL need compassion and care sooner or later and I can give that.
Oh, to address what to do if there is a blow out or something? You deal with it. Of course, as a volunteer you are told what you can and can't do but, you use your own common sense and do what needs to be done.
I have never ran across this situation though. Most people don't use volunteers when incontinence is an issue.
Ok I'm back. My dad never, ever had a mean bone in his body but he's called me names and says I'm the problem. After I rush to be by his side at assisted living. He needed me there NOW to explain to him why he's losing his memory. By the time I got there, I asked the nurse to go up with me to help calm him down. By then, 15 min later, he had forgotten and said I'm the one going crazy. So I get it. I really do. My aunt on hospice that I loved dearly and who loved me, wanted me thrown out because I was putting lotion on her arms. You have to have some thick skin to do that type of job. I feel like I could do it for others much easier than I can for my family. I'm too invested and love them so much I can t be objective. Now that I'm back at my home, 1 hour away, I can't stop everything and run to his aid regarding his memory. I try to calm him by phone. Then call the assisted living and have them check on him.
But back to what you said, it's not people in their right mind calling you names or grabbing at you thinking you are their shadow. If you know this going in, I think it would be a lot less stress. But I agree, you need support if going about it on your own!!!!
Xoxo
I would read the Bible to them, play music and sing with them, take them outside for walks, and just be there for them. When my grandchildren were staying with me, I would bring them along too, as I wanted to teach them at a young age the importance of doing for others.
To me it was an honor to spend time with someone who didn't have long to live, and to just be able to bring a little joy into their lives and put a smile on their faces. And while it was I who was wanting to bring them joy, I learned very early on that I was receiving even more joy from them. So it was a win win situation for all involved.
I had to stop volunteering when my husband's health started declining more, and have missed it ever since. I plan on volunteering with hospice again now that my husband is gone, but for now I am just spending some time with the mother of one of the ladies in my caregiver's support group a couple days a week, who is in a Memory Care facility, just to give her a break. And she too is under hospice care.
As a member of a faith community, we have a committee that sends out messages when folks need help.
I help when I can. "Many hands make light work", right?
Ive always heard that the volunteers aren’t to do hands on. So what happens in a 2-4 hour shift when…
An elder looses his bowel and bladder all over themselves and furniture. How do you not clean that up?
Or elders who lash out to get their shadow back? Elders who call you racist names?
Or the elder does attach, but then wants you to do more, is calling you, wants you to be their new family.
What do you do in those types of situations?