My dad got a sore that turned into a bad wound. He finally went to doctor and they sent a wound nurse. She convinced my dad who hates hospitals to go get care. My dad picked the hospital he does like and went. I went to see him Sunday. The wound is to the bone right above his butt. It's the most horrible thing I have ever seen. They are treating him. I'm so grateful. They are giving him antibiotics. So now he is trying to figure out how to get home.
The one agency can train me to do the IV bag replacement but they want my guarantee I will be there 24/7 or close 30 mins away. (I live in Laramie 100miles away) I explained I can take some time off but not 4-6 weeks. They cannot train his one caregiver bc of the rules. They made it very clear someone needs to be there at night when it goes off from an error or if it gets ripped out he could bleed out.
They won't take him on for wound in-home care, unless I am there to do the IV. I'm in contact with case manager at hospital, case manager with his disability, my dad refuses to go to a rehab/nursing facility knows he can do this at home. I've told him I can't be there for that amount of time, what if you go to rehab for part if it? No he doesn't like that.
I said when I tell them I will be there, I'm not lying and getting in trouble if something happens, plus I don't want anything to happen. He thinks we are making too big a deal, he will find more help and an RN to do IV. I'm like you haven't found help for years and now you can? He needs to go home to handle things. I said I can help with those things. He doesn't like that he can't leave the rehab place, doesn't like he can't smoke.
I told him if this infection gets worse you could die. He knows and promises me he is not going to let it get bad. Ha, I tell him you have a wound on your back the size of a fist but now you know better? He will check himself into the rehab if this doesn't work. So he wants me to lie to this agency so he can work the loophole to go home.
I'm just tired. I love him, want him to get well. It's been so nice to know he is getting care. I'm busy at work. Putting my head in hands. Why does it have to be so hard with some family. Me, I'd go get the care. Him no, wants to do it his way. I talked to his sister, my aunt, she lives 30 miles away and said she can help for a few days. I'm like great but what about the rest of the time? My dad is telling the hospital my brother lives at his house. I said he doesn't. My dad will be mad. Then the hospital tells me the home IV is not as bad as the agency is saying. My head hurts. I am standing firm but am getting worn down.
That sore is huge and your dad wants to smoke? Yikes.
How about home heath? A nurse round the clock? Or someone who can change the IV? That will cost a huge amount of $$$.
Take everything of value from the house. Check in daily with video. But that still isnt a good idea because you dont know these people.
I think your dad cant get out of bed. What is the point of being at home? What if he falls? No one is there. That ship of him being alone at home has sailed. Your past that point now. He needs way more help than someone can give from 100 miles away.
My father is the patient from hell with his denial the severity of medical issues. He believed they had him in rehab for the $$. I gave in and took dad to my home. Six months later, I feel the life drained out of me.
If your father does end up going home, you may need to call his bluff with him calling the shots to make him understand. If that's the case, he will be back in the hospital after a short time and should be compliant the second time around.
Go with your instinct. Don't let him put you in a position to lie or exaggerate.
stay strong, do not jeopardize your own job and bread and butter! Where will you be if you lose that job, can’t feed yourself?
I'm sure some rehabs are better than others but hopefully there is a good one near your dad and he can go there to finish recovering. I wonder if he's ready for rehab if he still has this big open wound? Seems like he still needs nursing care? Just curious - how did he get that big boo boo in the first place? Yikes, sounds scary.
Stand your ground and help him get the level of care that he needs at this point. Once he improves, it probably would be fine for him to go back home.
Dad may not like the other options, but tough beans. If you lie and tell the discharge people you will be there, you are making a commitment. If you bail on the commitment, you could be held accountable if it becomes know that you have not fulfilled your obligation.
You are not responsible for Dad.
Has anyone said if he has MRSA?
Has it been long enough that he has passed through some of the withdrawal from the nicotine? Does his doctor know that he is a smoker? I wonder if he could get a nicotine patch or something like that to help ease his withdrawal?
He’s probably suffering from wanting to smoke more than from the wound.
You already know the answer. He needs to buck up and get this thing healed before he even thinks about going home with or without home health.
Tell the hospital he is being manipulative and you can not give up your livelihood to let him have his way.
Find a rehab that has smoking area, they know people have this addiction, heck, I see nurses and other workers smoking all the time.
He is being selfish asking you to risk elder neglect charges by lying.
Don't let anyone bully you into doing this.
Stay strong!