Hourly rate for family care - any input?

Ever seen the old tv show Green Acres where Zsa Zsa Gabor negotiated by increasing the amount instead of negotiating down?

Your family attorney wants to treat care like a business. Go for it. Tell her you’ve reconsidered. You were remiss in treating this as a family matter instead of a business matter. Thanks to her enlightening you, you realize that your status is an employee in this caregiver business and therefore you expect to be paid.

If you were in Connecticut, I’d say ask for a salary of $60,000/year plus costs for room and board for 24/7 care, 1 day a week off (the lawyer hires part time help), 20 day vacation and social security contributions as required by law. You will pay taxes. This is a real number for what a caregiver I knew was paid 6 yrs ago BEFORE todays inflation. Granted it was upscale Connecticut.

So, using that as a basis, set a comprehensive value and price for your services in your community and expect it. You are the single most qualified person for this job. Caregiving is tough and everything I’ve read on posts is that dementia takes an added toll on caregivers. The lawyer will patronize and try to play you, but seriously, she opened the door. Don’t let her bully you. You can tell her moving dad to a facility is an option. Obviously second rate option, but then what does that say about her respect and the family’s respect for you if you get paid less than a bad option?

Then you can afford to subcontract as needed and at a rate you feel necessary.

My MIL’s aid gets $25.00 an hour

Before you discount the VA for help PLEASE contact your local Veterans Assistance Commission. Get as much information that you have for your dad (DD214 if you have it) Depending on where and when your dad served some of his "conditions" might qualify as a "service connected disability") There may even be an Adult Day program that he would qualify for.
There are programs that can help even if he does not qualify for Aid and Attendance. (I am sure that is what the Elder Care Attorney looked into)
The VA will also pay family members to care for the Veteran. (for others in this situation they will now even pay spouses to care for the Veteran)

I think "easing" into outside caregivers might be the way to go with your dad. If you need to hire someone from outside the family take it slow. On the first day tell dad you are "Inviting a friend over". Spend some time get your dad involved so make it afternoon so you can have lunch. The caregiver can set and clear the table. Make it relaxing. Second day that they are there follow the same routine so dad gets used to this person and they are no longer a stranger. A good caregiver will be able to ease the transition.

As to the "going rate" call a few agencies in your area. As you ask questions about the caregivers and what they do, just as if you were going to hire them ask what the fee is. It will depend on what they have to do. If it is more companion it will be less, the more skilled the person is the higher the fee.
the caregiver from an agency gets a portion of what you are charges so scale down from there.(the 2 best caregivers I ever hired were from a local Community College, they had just finished their CNA certification and were awaiting for the nursing school to start. This was about 5 1/2 years ago and I paid them $20.00 an hour.)

We are paying direct pay in Maryland. We are in a poor part of Maryland. We start at $20 per hour. We pay legal with taxes taken out, workers comp and social security. Most of our caregivers are getting between $22 and $27 per hour.

I think $20 on low end .. 25$ good
minimum… agencies more like 35/40
actually if family members giving you some respite and rest I wouldn’t be nickel and diming them … be thankful they’re helping .

I'm in MA, and am thrilled to pay $25 for caregivers I know - not professional but extremely capable and caring. The agency was $39 per hour!

I am paying $16.50 directly to a licensed CNA in South Florida . The agency rate was $22 to $25.

If you expect to eventually apply for assistance for your father, everyone who is being paid must declare the income on their tax returns and you will have to file and pay employment taxes.

The mileage question may very well be due to mileage cannot be deducted for transport to place of employment for anyone, anywhere. If it were mileage for errands while with dad that would be different, I would think.

My understanding is that the payment for caregiving services can be the same as an agency. How the agency overhead fits into that equation is an interesting question.... It sounds like the attorney is wanting to keep you out of trouble with the IRS. Is there someone in the firm that specializes in tax law?

I have a concern about this arrangement. How are income taxes and other withholding amounts going to be handled? There are payroll companies that do this exclusively. Or would the amounts that his kids are paid be reported as gifts, and taxable by the IRS? Check into that. Other than this, it sounds like you have everything set up nicely. Will dad also be paying rent or is everything covered by the agreement? Have you checked with your homeowners insurance to see if any additional insurance is recommended?

Not outrageous but it will have to be declared for income tax purposes to satisfy Medicaid lookback by each of you if it’s a caregiver contract.

I'll also be compensated - we're doing a care agreement for me, as well; the attorney felt my compensation request is appropriate, but not for other family members coming in for an hourly rate. My brothers have been amazing the past couple of months, offering help often, so I'm hopeful that help continues.

Since having Covid, Dad's dementia has progressed considerably; I'm sad to report that some days he doesn't even remember me. I work from home, so it's a juggling performance to say the least, but I have great management and others on my team also caring for their aging parents... so they get it. I've also had some vacation time to burn on days when dad isn't doing so well.

Dad had a hip replacement earlier this year, so he requires help standing and walking at times. He feeds himself and needs minimal shower help; toilet assistance comes and goes depending on the day and how he's feeling. He cannot dress himself anymore. All meals have to be prepared and he obviously no longer drives.

I'm with you - I think $20-$25/hr is a fair amount to pay for that kind of care, but the attorney felt more comfortable erring towards the side of caution.

From your profile: "I am caring for my father Rob, who is 78 years old, living in my home with alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, mobility problems, sleep disorder, and stroke."

What exactly are the caregiving duties that you do for him? I see nothing wrong with $25/hour!

And why aren't YOU being paid for taking care of your father????? (Or are you?) If your father has assets, you should be compensated.

I got $20/hour, and did no hands-on care for my mother. I did not live with her. I was paid by a POA brother. No taxes taken out, and it was all a gift to me, as she would never have qualified for Medicaid.

It seems like you ARE doing hands-on care. Why should your brothers get paid and not you? They get paid to take care of THEIR mother, but you do it for free? (Again, I hope this is NOT the case!)