My husband was a mental health technician for the state of Illinois in 1985. I am my 91 year old mother's caregiver. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease in 2018. Subsequently, my husband says she is acting out and being manipulative and he does not attribute her behavior to Alzheimer's. She thinks that I am her sister and that he is my brother. However, she does exhibit eccentric behavior, such as "waiting until I am not looking and throwing food under the table or towards the wall." When I ask her about it, she claims it was not her. She takes knives out of the dishwasher and hides them in her coat pocket. I have subsequently stopped leaving clean dishes in the dishwasher. But, these behaviors are not what she did before the disease. That is why I believe they are happening as a result of the disease. Can anyone espouse on this?
But I think that since 1985 we have found out alot more about Dementias. We have found that they are unpredictable andvthere is no rhyme or reason to them. And each person is effected differently. Your Mom is now like a child. She has no idea why she does or says what she does. She has lost that filter. Her brain just goes from one thing to another. Don't try to figure out why she does it just except it as part of the desease.
My mom's memory was fine, but her ability to reason was totally lost.
I think executive functioning (planning, etc.) and reasoning ability (the ability to see consequences) are what drop out in dementia.
It might be worth another doctor check, and to have DH go along to hear the results. He can then argue it out with the doctor, rather than you!
Your mom's behavior sounds like dementia to me, but you should consult a neurologist (MD), geriatric psychiatrist (MD) or a neuropsychologist (PhD or PsyD).
My DH and I are currently investigating some cognitive changes in him; his team so far consists of a neurologist with an MD and PhD ( not to mention his undergrad degree in Electrical Engineering from MIT) and a neuropsychologist (PhD).
I am a retired school psychologist and was taught never to have opinions about my own family members' mental health. I would suggest the same to your husband.