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She lives alone after losing my uncle 4 years ago. She says that everything in the house reminds her of him. I used to take her shopping or out to run errands but the Corona Virus halted that. She used to walk around our complex regularly but there is a lady who lives across from her who is a nosey busy body that I recently found out bullies her. She is a sweet 89 year young lady who has a lot of life left. I’m 53 and wanna help but I don’t know how....any suggestions?

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MicheleBor, everyone should be lucky enough to have a nice niece like you! Not much can happen during the lockdown but her going outside to walk should still be safe and acceptable. If she is too meek to deal with the bully, I would go over and walk with her (at a distance) and take some time to role play. You pretend to be the Hag Bully and you teach her how to either ignore her or give her something scripted to say to her. This will be both practical and probably funny. I don't think the complex manager has any power to intervene but depending on what this woman is saying to her maybe she is making threats and 911 maybe can be called. Your Aunt can probably tell this women that's how she's gonna roll from now on so she better shut her pie hole ;-)
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You're sweet to try to help her. With the shelter in place, it's difficult to do all the things you want to do, but, I'd start with seeing if she will get a check up. If she will or can be honest with the doctor, they can see if she needs medication for depression or if other ways could help her.

Are you going to see her during this time? If so, I might try to brighten up her place, since she says it reminds her of her departed husband. What about new curtains, paint, some cheerful deor (my mom likes birds, butterflies and flowers themes.). Maybe, hang up some wind chimes, garden flag, cut out special things and make handmade cards to make her feel special. Maybe, make her a cake or buy her a shirt that says, Best Aunt In The World, etc. Stuff like that can cheer someone, but, if she has a more serious issue, she might need the doctor to intervene. I think a lot of senors struggle with depression.
Just talking to someone every day helps though.

Does she use the internet? I have a senior friend that I send links for music videos to. She likes the funny ones or those of music like Nat King Cole, gospel choir.
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You are such and kind and wonderful niece! When my dad passed, I found the only way to keep my mom from becoming mired in grief and depression was to attend things with her like the bingo games her senior apartments offered. When she was comfortable, she’d go by herself. When she got to know the ladies who went, she was even comfortable joining them for their evening “hen sessions” in the lobby.

If your aunt has not been to visit her doctor lately, it might be time. There may be an imbalance in vitamin levels, or she may have a vague pain that she just cannot quite name.

As for the old hag who is bullying her, if she is actively seeking your aunt out and choosing every opportunity to pick on her, it’s time to speak with the manager of the complex. Chances are this old bat isn’t liked by more than one resident. If nothing is done and things don’t change, I’d run defense for your aunt. When you see this person, use non-threatening words that will leave no doubt in her mind that if she doesn’t leave your aunt alone, you will park on Managements doorstep until they handle the situation.
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