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Most often, elders with dementia refuse to comply with loved ones requests but become quite compliant with hired caregivers or those who work in Memory Care.
Best of luck with a difficult situation.
In a facility staff can arrive as a team. 3 aides vs 1 elder gets the job done quick. Not saying there is force, but maybe a certain level of assertiveness to herd into the bathroom, 1 to distract while 2 rip the pants off.
However, in a home setting it is harder. Especially for 1 family caregiver.
Try keeping the conversation to how good *after* will be eg you will feel lovely and clean!
Try encouragements (bribes) too. Once you are clean we will do ... (insert something they like) eg have icecream, watch tv.
Meds to add some calmness are useful too in many cases.
I'm surprised that her weekday aides are unable to help her get clean. They usually have tricks for getting the clients to cooperate. Ask them to be assertive with her - nicely tell her that they need to help her because she will end up in a nursing home when her skin starts breaking down from being unclean. They can start slow and build up to more and more help. She doesn't have to like but she really needs to learn to tolerate it. Maybe you need a little help on the weekends too? Maybe not 10 hours but enough to be there to help her out in this difficult department.
If she refuses to allow help and can't/won't do it herself, let her know that she will be leaving you no choice but to have her put into an appropriate facility. I'm sure she won't like that either. I don't know if she'll be able to grasp that concept but I would say here are your choices - keep clean or go to memory care. There often aren't great choices as the aging process continues and dementia takes hold. But health and safety and YOUR sanity become major players.
You can start by getting her to the bathroom every 2 hours at the very least.
The aides should also be helping her and they also need to be instant about it.
Many people that have responded to question like this have mentioned Bidet toilet seats and for many they seem to help quite a bit. You can get them with heated water.
Taking her to the bathroom will become the "new normal" for her. As she declines there will be other "new normals" like helping her in the shower or bath, brushing her teeth and washing her hands.
If she is still using regular underwear get rid of that and replace all underwear with disposable ones.