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Ka, has your MOM expressed a desire to go outside?

My best friend's mom is nearly 102 and lives in a lovely subsidized elevator building close to the Atlantic shore. She has a large balcony.

My friend is always pestering the live-in aide to take her outside in her wheelchair, or out on the balcony, but the elderly lady has no interest in going out of doors and protests vigorously when it is suggested or attempted.

Be guided by mom's wishes in this.
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Are there any windows that open? Catch the sun?

I always think what a lovely day, I've just got to get outside..

But many people dislike the noise & wind outside, prefer to be safe & snug inside.

I've mentioned on another thread a lady who liked to watch 'her tree' outside the window. Had no desire to BE outside (or move from her bed) but enjoyed seeing a little piece of nature. I thought if I ever cannot get outside, I'll get a few pot plants instead.

Bring the outside in.
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I heard about funny tractor wheels that could negotiate stairs...

"14 Types Of Wheelchair That Climbs Stairs [2022 Mobility Guide] (loaids.com)"

[Disclaimer: This is provided as information only and not an endorsement of any product or company]
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I don't think there is any way to do the safely without paying for people who are properly trained and have the right equipment. Without the proper equipment something could go wrong and whoever was helping you could be in serious legal trouble.

My brother once hired a taxi to take my wheelchair bound mom, who can't transfer without a lift, to see my dying father in hospital. They sent a taxi to accommodate a wheelchair, but couldn't do the transfer as they did have the equipment. They discussed lifting my mother but didn't know how to do it properly. We had to get an ambulette which was significantly more expensive but at least was safe.

With that said, I think she would be better in a nursing home where she would have staff on hand to help with everything, including getting outside and enjoying activities she can't do at home.
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The reality is 2 people need to carry her down 3 flights of stairs in a wheelchair.

To pay to have her carried out once a month is $700. She's on a Medicaid Elder Waiver so the cost of her in-home aides is covered, but the cost of taking her outside comes out of your pocket.

To continue to receive Medicaid in a facility would mean she'd require LTC (in most states so you would need to check hers). And, as she is already on Medicaid, there may be waiting lists to get into a facility, where she'd be required to share a room.

Are there any strong, young men in the building who'd carry her down for $100 each person, each trip? So, $400 a time? That's the only other "solution" I can see.
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DILKimba Jun 2022
Great idea Geaton! That's what I was thinking too. Are there any young men in the family or friends, or from your church/synagog who might help?
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Of course she doesn't want to go into AL, that generation is stuck in how they used to be, not how they are today.

I have one in AL and one in MC, both lovely homes, with people their own age, activities and safety.

Sitting by herself in a flat three flights in the air is not IMO a good idea, especially at her age.

Why not tour some homes in your area, bring yourself up-to-date on what they look like today. The one my step-mother is in has a beautiful courtyard that she can sit in, talk to others, draw do whatever she likes.
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This would concern me..not for the fact that you can not easily get her out to go for a walk. What would happen if there was an emergency and you had to get her out quickly. A lot can happen before EMS arrives to help evacuate.
Has there been any thought about trying to get a first floor apartment, even in the same building?
At 103 (God bless her) a move of any sort would be difficult.
(Maybe do not call it a "nursing home" but Assisted Living. Get her out and take a tour of one.)

I think the only way to do this safely would be to get her out when the home Health Aide is there and can help get her up and down the stairs. (unless they are not able to do that)

In your profile you mention your mom has dementia.
At that diagnosis SHE no longer gets to make many decisions for herself about her care and her safety.
With a diagnosis of dementia she can not be left alone. You say that you have Aides there and neighbors that help out. That also means that some of the time she is alone. She needs supervision 24/7/365.
A move to Memory Care is the best option. I mentioned previously in my reply that Assisted Living would be an option but with the dementia I think MC is a better option. I am sure "nursing homes" AL and MC have changed a GREAT deal since your mom worked in one so what she is worried about may no longer exist.
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