How can she have so much clarity for the Dr. and guests?

My mom, does her best to mask her cognitive decline in front of her doctor. Up until a year ago when I contacted her doctor about concerns the family was seeing with her he had not picked up any signs that she was in trouble.

Once we made him aware he started questioning her and found there was reason for concern and ordered tests and referrals for further evaluation.

No no matter how bizarre mom has been acting during the day, she miraculously tones it down for the doctor hoping he will agree she is able to live on her own again.

We always make a point to confer with doctor prior to her visits so he is aware of any changes to behavior that may be of concern. As soon as doctor visit ends so does her facade. It is fascinating to watch.

My mom is the sweetest person around others. The staff at rehab described her as a "joy". But when you get past the facade, things begin to fall apart. Problem is she can keep going long enough to fool most people. She keeps her true self for her daughters and my dad. Negative, stubborn, demanding and self centered. Did I mention downright mean at times? It seems as though she has a switch she can turn on and off at whim. Very frustrating... part of the disease, but in my case, part of her personality. No...you are not alone in this journey....only those who live the day to day know the reality. Good luck, this isn't easy, but this site does help get us through the rough patches.

That's surely very frustrating for you...
(I didn't know patients with dimentia could act more coherent by choice!) Odd. It adds: "insult to injury", cuz you use so much energy caring 4 them & they manipulate you like that. Pretending they're fine, & you look like a liar? That would be quite discouraging I think. Sorry ur hurt.
My mother acted nice 2 anyone but me, but I never had her checked for dimentia, cuz she'd always been that way.
I wish you well friend, please try to have yourself a massage or something you'd like once in a while.🌷

I was just telling a friend about confabulation yesterday, cuz her dad is probably doing it.

My mom does it too. Frustrating. And she sound completely "normal" when she's telling stories to my kids or family, etc. but I KNOW that what she's saying is suspect at best. Guess it doesn't really "matter" but just kind of weird.

My mother has dementia, but can showtime like an Oscar winning actress in front of the right audience. I don't understand it, how they're able to hide the truth so expertly when necessary, but I continue to witness it all the time. I personally believe they rely on muscle memory to make small talk, fooling others into believing they're fine. But, if asked specific questions that require real thought, THAT is when the struggle shows up. It's all very confusing and aggravating, too, isn't it? They tend to make US look like liars or bad guys for trying to say THEY have an illness!