My father became suddenly blind and began sliding into dementia about 7 months ago. He is in a good, nearby ALF where my mother and I can visit frequently. However, he is intolerant of almost any stimulation including music, reading aloud, TV, light conversation and is unappreciative (to put it kindly) of our attempts. My mother (whom he does still recognize) wants to provide some quality time for him. Any suggestions?
If, for example, he says he wants to be left alone, it might be best for your mother's peace of mind to take him at his word and keep the visit short. Still go, but don't struggle to keep him company if he's just becoming abusive.
You could ask his doctor if anti-depressants or other therapies might help your father's mental state. But you only have to put yourself in your father's shoes to imagine his anger, fear and frustration - I just wish it were obvious what could be done to remedy them.
Meanwhile, helping your mother come to terms with your father's deterioration may be more productive for both of you. It must be terribly sad and hurtful for her, and I'm very sorry for it.