My Mom has been very lonely since Dad died two years ago. She has been on the waiting list for assisted living for over a year now (only one place in our small town), but no openings. We offer her space in our small home, but she says she does not want to be a bother. She want's to die sooner and not opt for the pace maker . She has Bradycardia. She also has early stages of dementia. She recently started an antidepressant (the Dr. was quite alarmed at her attitude). Do I work on convincing her to get the pacemaker, or do I let it go?
It is my understanding that a pacemaker is not life-extending but rather life-enhancing. To have your heart beat regularly is more comfortable and healthy.
My husband had a pacemaker and a defibrillator. After he developed dementia he signed a DNR and wanted the defibrillator removed. At first the heart surgeon tried to talk him out of it, and then agreed to do it when the battery had to be changed and a procedure was needed anyway. My husband continued on the pacemaker. He wanted the rest of his life to be as comfortable as possible -- he just did not want to have his heart re-started if it stopped.
If your mother has had the purpose and the methods of the pacemaker explained to her in a way she can understand, then I'd say she can make her own decision.
My mom is 96 and frequently says we're living too long. All of my mom's siblings are gone, she only has one friend left (who lives in another state), and my dad died in 2009, after 65 years of marriage. My mom isn't depressed, but her quality of life isn't what I'd like for her. She lives in independent living, but doesn't have any desire to do any of the activities at the place where she lives. I bring her food, because it's too far to the dining room and she doesn't get dressed most days. I respect her wishes.
Be sure you know your mom's feelings about her end-of-life care and that you have her Power of Attorney (POA) for healthcare. Or that someone does. Also a Power of Attorney for Property. Ask her if she wants to be revived if her heart stops. If not, get a DNR (Do not Resuscitate) order on file. I have one for my mom that everyone has. Good luck, these are tough decisions for most of us.