How do I bring my mother home for in-home care legally and safely?

I think this would be a task much too bit to take on at this point. Rehab sounds like the right fit at this time. 24/7 for 3 months with help of 1 person?? NO WAY.

I think you would do best to help your mom while she's in rehab. She can use extra help there and you do what you can do while still working. Let her get as much rehab and PT as possible and then see what she is able to accomplish.

If you bring her home now you will be stressed and burnt out in a VERY short amount of time. I would not do it.

So sorry for your situation. So difficult. Best of luck.

I am sorry your Mother has had a stroke. This is life changing.

Please ask yourself the hard questions.

Love.
What does this mean to you?

A rehabilitation facility. What does that mean to you?

Do you feel love is going to cure your Mother's stroke?

Do you feel being in a home environment will bring improvements better than exercises prescribed by Physioterapists & Occupational Therapists in a rehab setting?

I do understand the feeling to wrap someone up & bring them home ❤️

Go past this feeling.
Go to thinking.
Use your judgement & reasoning.

Can you get access to enough PT & OT in the home? Will you have a team of aides? Or just one friend to help - an unpaid friend will not last long. Solo caregivers burn out very fast.

I'd say do a 48 hour trial of doing ALL Mom's care in rehab to educate yourself on the real situation. Then have a cry. A big one. It's allowed. Then start to accept what the situation is.

Pre-Covid I was able to basically park myself at my mother's bedside and learn everything I needed in order to get her home. The CNAs were willing to teach me things like how to make a bed with someone in it. (I showed my gratitude for the tutorials by doing a lot of the care work--which of course also served as practice.)

I have a remote job, which meant I could work from my mom's bedside. I realize that's not an option for most people.

I watched a ton of YouTube videos and read training books for home health aides. 

While my mom was there (SNF) we added grab bars and such in her home, basically getting it ready for her return. An OT and PT arranged to come to the house and make recommendations, and there was home health for a while after that (nurse, PT, OT).

My mom was able to stand and transfer before I took her home. She was also able to walk a bit, and your profile suggests that may not be the case with your own mom (at least not yet).

I know what you mean about the mental state improving at home. But the physical challenges do seem pretty daunting right now. Any progress on the walking / standing endurance front?

So sorry you and your mom are going through this.

You don’t mention training that would qualify you to care for someone in this dire condition. This is not a situation where you just take mom home and you and your friend cure her with love. Far from it.

Please reconsider. Surely you don’t want to harm mom, you want her to have the best care. That means professionals.

Good luck.

Based on what you say in your profile, I think mom needs rehab at a facility that ONLY specializes IN rehabilitating patients with serious deficits. I wouldn't know where to begin with physical and occupational therapy at home with my late mother. I have no medical background or knowledge of physical therapy. And I wouldn't trust I'd get all the equipment and supplies necessary anyway!

I certainly don't blame you for being scared and leery to send mom back to another Skilled Nursing facility for rehab, after the nightmare you experienced before. 😑

Here in Colorado we have licensed acute rehabilitation hospitals that cover a wide range of physical and cognitive issues patients suffer from. Regular rehabs in SNFs do not do well with cognitively impaired folks bc they can't retain information or follow directions. The big one here is Spalding Rehabilitation Hospital. You can look it up online to get an idea of what they offer, to see if such a facility exists in your area.

I wish you the best of luck with a difficult situation. All the best to you and mom.

No, don’t do this. You are absolutely asking for trouble. What’s the situation with the family friend? Homeless?

You can’t possibly provide intensive max PT assistance as you aren’t trained and it takes 3 adults to care for one adult. You and your friend have no relief. Where are The other 4 people you need to pull this off?

Your mother deserves to have qualified professional care.