I’m not certain the details of what you’re asking but it seems like you’re feeling what I’m feeling. I can no longer care for my grandma. In September it will be year that I haven’t left my house for more than a few hours. At first I had helpers but there was always an issue. Now I am tethered. I think I found an AL that allows for one pet and takes Medicaid. I’m going to visit this week. I have no idea how I am going to bring this up to her, so.... I am REALLY hoping the concerns I present to her Dr. are accepted and that she will be supportive of it in front of my grandma and document that support.
I hope that you get a break soon. It’s awful to be confined. I was in your situation for many years. Have you contacted Council on Aging for help? I recommend doing so. They do a needs assessment and if the senior qualifies they will send out help. It’s only a few hours a month but it helps some.
You simply say that you can no longer care for your mom. You have done your part. Now it’s time for others to step in.
Ask your mom’s doctor or nurse (nurses are sometimes more empathetic) for a contact number for a social worker to help plan for your mom’s future. The social worker will answer your questions and address any concerns that you have. They will be able to tell you what options are available for your mom’s care and guide you in a suitable direction.
You don’t have to convince anyone on this forum that caregiving isn’t a tough job. It’s the toughest job that I ever had!
Seems u have a full plate. You need to tell the doctor you can no longer take care of her that she needs to be placed in LTC and you need him to sign off on it. That ur husband is your main priority now.
Apply for Medicaid if she has no money and get her into a nice NH. Its no longer what "she" wants but what she needs and u too.
You don't convince him. He doesn't need to be convinced. You TELL HIM you cannot supply the needs of your Mom and you don't INTEND to do so. It is utterly none of his business.
Why does the Dr. need to be convinced? If mom needs more help than you can offer then that is fact. Are you wanting her to be placed somewhere? You can have a needs assessment done by your local Adult Social Services, and they will have social workers that will help you take it from there. And if I'm not understanding your question properly, then you can make a list of everything that is going on with your mom, and send it to her Dr. via the patient portal, so he/she has a better picture of what is going on with her. Best wishes.
Or consider placement for her in a facility.
Ask your mom’s doctor or nurse (nurses are sometimes more empathetic) for a contact number for a social worker to help plan for your mom’s future. The social worker will answer your questions and address any concerns that you have. They will be able to tell you what options are available for your mom’s care and guide you in a suitable direction.
You don’t have to convince anyone on this forum that caregiving isn’t a tough job. It’s the toughest job that I ever had!
Have you decided it's time for change? Are you wanting the Doctor to force the direction?
Seems u have a full plate. You need to tell the doctor you can no longer take care of her that she needs to be placed in LTC and you need him to sign off on it. That ur husband is your main priority now.
Apply for Medicaid if she has no money and get her into a nice NH. Its no longer what "she" wants but what she needs and u too.
And if I'm not understanding your question properly, then you can make a list of everything that is going on with your mom, and send it to her Dr. via the patient portal, so he/she has a better picture of what is going on with her. Best wishes.