My husband is wheelchair bound and now, Homebound. He could not get himself up from the toilet so I could pull up his depends. Finally, after much tugging and pulling I barely managed to get him onto the wheelchair. I am 80 He weighs over 200 pounds and is 82. I know they have commodes for this but between 2 wheelchairs, bed rails, shower chair, and lift chair, my home is looking like a hospital. He wets the bed every day (and his chair) I live here too and I hate the idea of a commode. Where do I put it after he uses it ? But this is about dressing him. He cannot stand and the few times he attempts it, he leans over so much, there is no way I can pull his depends up and pants. It is so frustrating. I do not think any homecare worker could do what I do and to be honest, I do not want a man in my home to help. I would feel uncomfortable. I know he needs to be in a facility but he does not want to go. What a dilemma I am in. Any suggestions???
1.Pants. Hopefully you are dressing him in pull on pants like the fleece type. And do not use sweat pants that have elastic at the ankle.
Take a pair of scissors and cut the pants. Start about 3 inches behind the side seam and cut a "U" shape out going up to the same point on the other side of the pants. You are cutting out the Butt portion of the pants.
Now with him seated in the wheelchair you can pull pants on and then tuck the waist around behind him. This makes it easier to get pants on and off and it eliminates bulk of fabric and wrinkles that can cause skin irritation.
If you go out you can put "regular" pants on him or just make sure there is a lap blanket tucked around him in case the pants slip.
2. Shirts.
Take your scissors and at the bottom center of the back of the shirt cut all the way up to the neck but do not cut through the neck.
You can now slip the shirt over his head and get his arms in and then tuck the rest of the shirt around. Again no bulk of fabric at the back and no wrinkles. And you do not have to lean him forward to get the shirt into place.
3.Foot wear. If there is no need for shoes don't bother with them.
I got nice "memory foam" slippers that sort of looked like a deck shoe or loafer and I would slip those on. No socks. After showering I would dry the feet well, apply the cream I used then the shoes. His feet always seemed cold so I would sometimes slip on a pair of super warm socks but I would not put the slippers back on. I liked to keep his heels floating and the shoes with the bulky socks was a lot of weight pulling on the ankles.
4. Stop using pull up briefs and switch to tab type briefs. They will be easier for you to change as you will not have to get him to stand to pull them up.
5 Get good under pads for the wheelchair and the bed. There are many good washable ones on the market as well as disposable ones.
If your husband has strength in upper body you might try getting a Sit-to-Stand it will make transferring him so much easier. If he does not have the strength to hold on to the arm of the machine then you would be much better off with a Hoyer Lift.
I know more equipment! But and this is my number 1 thing...SAFETY Your safety as well as his. You can not afford to injure yourself and I am sure you do not want him hurt in the process.
If this is something that you do not think you can do by yourself and safely it might be time to consider help. Either in the house or moving him or both of you to a facility where you can both get the help you need.
Hospital beds are very helpful -- you can get his doctor to write an order for that, and hoyer lifts. Pay attention to skin breakdown if he's sitting all the time. Decubitus ulcers can quickly form and it will require aggressive daily dressing changes. But you may be forced to consider nursing home placement--even so you need to visit often and do daily skin inspections including the buttocks
i would ask the doctor to get a physical therapist or occupational therapist to come to the home to show you how to best move him and dress him. The good ones can be lifesavers.
i leave a commode out and I have furniture moved into the kitchen and medical equipment all over. It is what it is I guess. Makes cleaning a challenge though.
Last thing, I think most people would protest going to a nursing home but if that is the best choice, please don’t feel guilty. Patients don’t really know how difficult it can be to care for them properly.
What kind of bed do you have? If it's a big bed, you should at least get a twin. You need to be able to step around to both sides. Better yet, you need a hospital bed. Being able to move it up and down really helps a lot. A bed pad makes rolling so much easier. It's hard to rolls someone by gripping or tugging. It's easy to roll them by grabbing the pad under them by the corners and pulling up.
Using the same technique, I can even change her sheets and pads while she's still in bed.
No one WANTS to go into a facility. But for the best for both of you, I really think that is what must happen.
I wonder if you can enlist the help of your doctor? Tell them your situation and ask if it is reasonable for you to handle this on your own. Of course, they will say absolutely not! Then, maybe they can help you get things moving in the right direction.
Do you have any children or other family who can help you, at least for the short term before you can get this straightened out (meaning get him moved to a facility)? Beg them for help, for YOU. He doesn't want help? Fine. But you need help. Who is doing the cooking and the cleaning, etc. etc.? You could certainly use help with that at the very least. But that is just the tip of the iceberg since the needs here are sooo much more than those basic daily living activities.
Make some phone calls and get yourself some help. I'm not saying it's easy, but I think it would be for the best. Good luck.
Her CNA taught me how to use lift when she was in SNF.
But I’m 60 & good health...for how long....?? if I were you I’d put husband in facility...
hugs🤗
I personally found emptying, cleaning and disinfecting a commode an awful lot easier than changing continence pads! - and then once it's clean, you pop the seat back on and it's not very much different from having a spare chair in the room. Albeit perhaps not a chair you'd deliberately pick to complement your décor.
If he needs resources if a skilled facility, your house will look like one. The point is keeping you safe so you can assist in his care.