My mother is disabled and can barely get around without falling. She can't bathe herself or clean up after going to the potty herself. My brother isn't physically disabled but mentally. He has the mind of a 10-year-old, but he is 36. He can't live on his own because he doesn't understand how. He doesn't understand that you can't leave a stove eye on for half the day or put paper plates or towels next to it. You can give him $1, and he thinks that will buy a week's worth of groceries. He doesn't understand that you have to pay bills where you live, things like that. They have got to where they are in a phase now where they have to ask me everything, like they can't make any decision on their own. They will ask me if they can turn the fan on or if it is ok to put on high. I am at my wits end. I love them both so much, but I am to the point now where if I even see my brother I get angry, sometimes the same with my mother. I am constantly angry and depressed. I do not want or like to feel like that. I am trying to see if I can find a nursing home or some type of home they can both be together. Any help would be great, thank you.
Your brother needs a group home for intellectually disabled adults where he can be with people closer to his age and cognition where he can have friends , and activities appropriate for him .
Enlist the help of a County social worker for the disabled to help you find a group for your brother.
You can search and tour SNF ( skilled nursing facility ) for Mom or you can ask for help with that from a social worker for your County Area Agency of Aging .
Check your county website to get the numbers for the Agency of Aging and for services for disabled .
Even if you were able to find a small private care home willing to take both your Mom and your brother that would likely be expensive and not really the right environment for your brother . Your mother is in need of nursing home type care , your brother is not .
Its probably a good thing. Better to get brother used to living without mom while he’s still young since he’ll most likely outlive her.
Varies on State-to-State. Did you brother have any aid or assistance in his younger years? Was he always at home. Also, was your father a Veteran?
The more concrete info you can provide, the more we can help you.
Its a shame that parents of these challenged individuals don't look ahead and its all dumped into the other childs lap. I am so lucky that my nephew can live alone. I am so lucky that I was able to find help thru my County Disabilities Dept. He now has a place to live and a coordinator who handles mostly everything.
Otherwise speak to APS to find options.