I am a sibling of the person in question. He was staying with me 7 days a week, during the day and went to our other sibling's house to sleep each night. He was dealing with the early stages of dementia. His daughter who has not been involved in his life for the last five years made false accusations that I was harming him and has moved him into a assisted living home. She lives out of state, came to AZ to cause problems, put her father in this home which is over an hour a way from us sibling's and went off back to TX. I went to visit him and was there for 15 minutes before a staff member came and told me I needed to leave. I asked why and was told I needed to contact his daughter in TX. His daughter won't speak to myself or our sibling's so we don't know what to do at this point. During the 15 minute visit I did have, my brother made it clear that his daughter has not come to visit him, he hasn't spoken to her at all and doesn't understand why he was placed in this particular home. Any suggestions or information as to what we should do would be greatly appreciated!
A POA on the other hand, is a paper document signed by the parties (your sibling and the sibling's daughter), witnessed and usually notarized. The original would have been show to the facility before they would accept the person AND to allow said daughter to direct who can or cannot visit. The facility would retain a copy of the POA.
The other potential document is an "advanced directive" naming the daughter as your siblings "health agent." Again, the facility would required to see that original and to retain a copy. As the "health agent" if the daughter was so named, may allow her to say "in the best interest of the person, X or Y person cannot visit."
A licensed elder care attorney in the State where your sibling resides may be of assistance.
So worry you are dealing with this, good luck.
As said, you cannot believe what your brother says. My Mom visited an Aunt in a AL. As she left, Aunts sister was coming in. When sister said something to Aunt about my Moms visit, Aunt said Mom had not been there.
I think maybe a letter asking why is niece alienating you and sibling. You both did what you thought was best. You do not understand her accusations and not allowing you to see him is just not fair to him. You would appreciate if she would talk to you about this.
And if she does have PoA, then that's that. If she doesn't have PoA, then what will you do? Take him back to your home until his needs and/or dementia behaviors become so bad that you'll wish he was back in the AL? The routine you had before he went into AL -- that's not going to stay like that as his dementia worsens (and/or he develops other health issues at the same time). He's not going to stay in the early stages of dementia for long. He may start being paranoid with you, aggressive, 100% incontinent, wandering away, etc.
Part of dementia and memory impairment is that the people confabulate stories, and can become paranoid. This may be what happened: he told his daughter stories about his siblings that he sincerely believed to be true. My own Mother does this and I live next door to her. Him telling you he doesn't know why he's in AL means he has memory deficit. My MIL in LTC with moderate dementia once took a call from her son, Glen, while we were in the room. When she got off the phone I asked, "So, how's Glen doing?" She looked so sad and said, "I don't know... he hasn't called me in a long time."
But none of this can be known for sure. My money is on that his daughter called your brother, and he gave her the confabulation that his siblings weren't treating him well. So, what's a daughter to do? Ignore it?
Of course none of this helps you with the pain of separation and false accusation. Unless you want to lawyer-up and create a dust-up that you may lose at, then you must come to peace with the situation.