How do I get my mom with dementia and Parkinson's to drink? She's dehydrated and refuses to drink anything.

I am so sorry you and your Mum are facing this challenge.

Will she eat soup, melon, popsicles, watery foods?

Had she had IV rehydration?

Dementia is so strange - my mom has it too. I marvel at the things they remember and/or come up with. Why does she have to remember the correlation between drinking and peeing yet can't remember the dehydration part of the equation?? It's not difficult to reason with her at this stage - it is impossible.

I like the idea shared about foods with high water content. I have trouble with my mom not drinking enough too. I try to do small things to sneak in more liquid without her noticing, in addition to harping on her to have some more of her water. They just don't care or understand the impact on their health.

Good luck. Do your best but try not to fret too much about it.

This may sound like it wouldn’t work but I started my DH aunt on the small water bottles years ago. They are small so they are easy for her to hold and are less intimidating because they look like not that much water. I would have one with her. Never cold, just room temp. She would drink it right down.
Another thing to try is a straw, as in a milk shake or protein drink with ice cream and whipped cream on top.
Aunt would no longer eat soup. I think it had something to do with spooning the liquid to her mouth. I couldn’t get her to drink soup either although she loved hot chocolate and coffee. Watermelon she really likes and also likes to peel the little cutie tangelos and suck the juice. Again a small item and easy to peel was a plus.
Jello cubes with whipped cream was always a hit.

When people begin to ignore natural survival instincts, it means that they are close to dying. Thirst is a survival instinct. Even animals don't forget it. The ER can't save her. They will hydrate her and will send her back home where she will refuse to drink, again. She needs hospice care. Not every problem will have a happy solution.

Popsicles & watermelon are both good ideas, along with the small water bottles which you can flavor with Crystal Lite. Milkshakes are also another tasty idea that she might like and also offer hydration.

I have to tell you, my mother who also had dementia refused to drink liquids too.........for years, b/c she didn't want to have to pee. This went on pre dementia and post dementia............and she managed to live to the ripe old age of 95 and did not die of dehydration. She said she never felt thirsty, so it wasn't like she was ignoring a need, either.

I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult situation; I know how hard it is to want our mother's to do certain things & having them refuse to. Sending you a hug and a prayer for peace, no matter how things turn out.

My mom didn’t drink but she had dry mouth so she would suck on mouth lozenges. She was using about 14 a day. I found Propel (electrolyte drink or vitamin drink) for her. It is sweet and I open 2 of them and put straws in them. She drinks more with a straw. She now drinks 2 a day which is all I wanted her to drink. She has not had a UTI since she started drinking more and I also got her Cranberry pills to assuage the liquids. When I am with her, I pick up the bottle with the straw in it and hand it to her. She is like a baby bird in that she will take it and drink it. She can down a lot with the straw.

If she herself says that she doesn't want to drink because she is afraid of bathroom accidents, explain that keeping her system well flushed works much better and continue to offer. But generally don't attempt to reason with her. You might as well ask her to run a mile in battle dress as to grasp and retain a reasoned strategy for good urinary tract health.

Regularly offer her small, fresh, palatable drinks of types which you know she prefers, or juicy, appetising snacks such as jello, ice cream, fresh fruit.

If her Parkinson's and/or dementia symptoms are troublesome, she may need extra help such as lidded beakers or hydration bottles for drinking, adapted spoons for eating, and also support with the physical task.

To illustrate the last example: you ask her if she would like some ice cream, she agrees to try a little, you place it by her, nothing happens. She may just have changed her mind (or not like vanilla - did you ask?), but another possibility is that her brain has lost an ability called initiative - she can't take the first step, that key link in the process is broken. If you place the dish in her one hand and the spoon in the other (going gently and checking that she's comfortable at each step) you may find she then eats it all up without stopping.

As a rule, regular supported toileting will be better than heavy duty pads during the day; and I hope to goodness any accidents are sympathetically handled (I'm sure they are, but such accidents are mortifying enough without anyone commenting). Are you dealing with this or is your mother in residential care? - sorry, I should have checked your profile, I know.

My mother loves Lactaid mixed with Muscle Milk and a drop of vanilla flavoring. I also frequently hand her a water bottle and tell her to drink, which she will do most of the time. About every month I have a nurse from a company that provides hydration come to the house and give her IV fluids just to stay on the safe side.

She also takes a cranberry capsule and D-Mannose supplement for bladder health. She wears depends but almost never soils them.

Is there any chance she won't drink because she has developed dysphagia and needs her fluids thickened? Periodically choking/gagging on water was the first thing that plagued my mom.

https://www.thickenupclear.com/

There is a new product called Jelly Drops. They are like a candy but are designed for exactly this purpose. They are 95% water and sugar free. You can order them online and can subscribe to get them on a regular basis.
Good luck!

i hope others have great advice for you! i just want to say: i feel for you, and for your mother!!

parkinson's...dementia...it's all very hard. and you're extremely kind, loving to be helping your mother.

so i'm just writing as 1 daughter to another: you're awesome! i hope in the middle of all this, you can also relax, have good times.

Try Watermelon and soups. Many other fruits and veggies are 90% water. Just google "water rich foods".

Hi Tammy, that’s a tough spot you’re in!! The first thought that came to mind was to bribe her. Thinking back to my childhood when I had to eat dinner before I could get dessert 😊. Those things that she loves to do( and I hope they’re still present) like certain foods or activities. Tell her we can do this or that but, first you have to drink ( maybe a hall cup of water but fill glass up though.. she may drink it all). Hopefully it will work.. fingers crossed😊. Also speak with her medical team for advice as well.
It is a truly new journey “parenting our parents” and navigating through new waters can be stressful but, hang in there and be creative!
My best you you💕

Try popsicles or watermelon.

Give her her favorite drinks. To avoid accidents, take her automatically to the toilet every 2 hours, allowing her to urinate and check for wetness and underwear change. My mom hates drinking plain water, so I give her different flavored waters. She loves it. Every 2 hours or so, we take her to the toilet as she cannot express when she needs to go.

So my mom is on another UTI/confusion track and she does not want to go back to ER for the IV, and I’ve said “mom it’s fluids or ER”. We use Tennas for her to avoid the accidents. I’ve been making vegetable soup several times a week and giving her lots of fruits. Part of not drinking is they don’t want to keep running to the bathroom.

She may accept foods with liquid content, as described in some of the other responses, such as soups, fruits and vegetables, smoothies, ice cream, puddings, jello, etc. Don't try to reason with someone who has dementia. Try to find foods she will accept that are good for her.

why haven't you requested an assessment for Palliative or hospice care for your mother? At least if the assessment finds her in need you will be able to have CNA, nursing visits, and possible assistance from other resources.

"Drinking" is not the only way to increase fluids.
What can she eat without aspiration? If thin fluids need to be thickened then she may not even realize she is consuming what was a "liquid". If aspiration is possible then avoid things like jello and even ice cream. As these will liquify before they are swallowed.
Soup, pudding, cream of wheat, cream of rice, oatmeal. Any food placed in a blender with a bit of broth or other liquid that will allow the food to be pureed.
I would strongly suggest that you have an evaluation done for Hospice. They can be of great help and will provide you with supplies and equipment that you need.

Make the drinks look as appealing as possible with a little cordial, cut up fruits and a straw, you can also give her foods that liquify such as watermelon, yogurts, custards, ice creams, soups and foods that have lots of juices in them such as grapes, oranges, mandarin. Good luck & all the best 😊

TammyN: Reasoning with an individual with dementia will always be a futile effort. Try to add liquid into her system by other means, e.g. soups, popsicles, et al.

Give her "juicy" snacks and treats in addition to thickened liquids. Consider frozen and chilled snacks like jello, ice pops, sorbets, and ice cream. Consider warm food like soups, thinned sauces, thin custards or puddings. Sometimes just adding thickeners to liquids is enough to get folks to drink more. Look online for Thick-it and other dietary thickeners.

I give my husband popsicles and fruit pops . He loves them and they provide the fluids as well

In late stages of Alzheimer's, patients reduce intake of food and water. This is a bad omen, Thirst is a survival instinct that even animals never lose.

A swallow evaluation could be in order. Parkinson's in latter stages does cause swallow difficulties. If this is the case for your wife she is almost certain to avoid thin liquids by instinct. I would recommend thicker juices such as nectars save for the fact too much juice isn't a good things for our younger OR older in that large uptake in sugar occurs with them. I would discuss this with doctor; a swallow evaluation can be arranged with OT. Sadly, if this IS becoming a problem there are few answers. As an RN I seldom saw a senior admitted who was not dehydrated. The drive to take fluids does go down markedly with age.

I experiment with different protein drinks: Orgain, Glucerna, Ensure. Try different flavors and put a colorful straw in. Mom likes bananas and chocolate, so these flavors seem to work. She also loves iced tea, so that's around too. And she hates being told to drink :-( but she will drink if I leave it out and she "finds" it. Perhaps your wife is further advanced and some of these other suggestions would be better. But hope something helps.

Oops, I meant to say your "mom"

dear OP :),

does your mother like watermelon? you can cut some small pieces, so it’s easy for her to chew.

watermelon is very nutritious AND full of water :).

My husband with PD got evaluated for dysphagia. His voice is going as his throat muscles are weaker.
His drinking fluids is not great, suggestions were made for glass of warm water with lemon and honey in the morning.
Papaya juice is supposed to be the best, fresh papaya with watermelon and banana or other fruits make good smoothie.
But not much can be done, sad fact of this horrible disease.

I’m a geriatrician. I supervise and care for the patients in the dementia wing at our nursing home.

I say with extreme kindness that dementia patients are adult human beings. There comes a point in late dementia when we have to look at the whole person. When they fight and absolutely refuse to eat and drink, when they cry when their depends are changed, they are saying: “I’m a person! Stop forcing me! Respect my dignity!”

Why are we forcing our nearest and dearest to bend to OUR needs!

People DO die of Alzheimer’s!

Would you like the humiliation of “strangers” (they don’t know who you are!) washing your bum and putting diapers on you? Forcing food, medicine, and liquids down your throat?

These are adults cognizant of what is happening to them. They aren’t babies!

They feel humiliation and embarrassment. I’ve been caring for thousands of such patients for forty years.

Treat then as the adults they are!