Nearly two years ago now, the housekeeper team tried to change the amount on a check my mom wrote. They told my stepdad that her check bounced when in reality Bank of America called my mom and told her that the check had been manipulated. When my Mom told her husband that, he sided with the housekeeper. Since that time, my mom has accused my stepdad of "f*cking the housekeeper."
She is solely focused on anything and anywhere he is and believes that whenever he leaves the house that he’s meeting the housekeeper. She says he’s a pedophile because the housekeeper is as young as my niece. My Mom has since added on that he has a child with the housekeeper. We recently went on vacation, out of the country. My stepdad left us at the casino a little early to return to the unit, as soon as he left she started with the accusations again. This time he was leaving to text the housekeeper.
They have gone to counseling. My Mom left the counseling because the counselor didn’t agree with her. My Mom has traditionally been headstrong. When she thinks she’s right there’s no undoing that thinking. She is hyper focused on him. She’s also having short term memory issues. Her neurologist has recommended in home care and memory care but my Mom has refused it and blames everything she’s going through on my stepdad.
She doesn’t take her medication like she’s supposed to, so the neurologist didn’t think and medication for early onset dementia or Alzheimer’s would be beneficial. My Mom also has some hearing loss and needs hearing aids but doesn’t want them.
All of this has been more than a drain.
Both she and my stepdad have lost between 25 and 30 pounds.
Hopefully someone has POA.
Maybe Mom is angry & using the harshest accusations she can think of.
Maybe Mom is delusional.
Are you asking how to stop another adult from saying what they want to? Or just tone down the language she uses?
Or do you want to change her mind?
I don't see how you have any power over any of that. Let it go.
Why in God's name are you still using housekeepers who forge checks? Has your mother's husband been tested for dementia? Who sides with housekeepers forging checks when told by the bank that was the case??? Maybe mom is righ, because this whole story doesn't add up.
Secondly meds for Alzheimer's really don't work, as far as I know. I haven't seen one poster say they do.
3rd have you learned anything about dementia, it would help you greatly to learn more, it will help your step dad and mom.
I like Teepa Snow on YouTube, but there are many, and many good books. They help you understand them and help with compassion
Your mom is paranoid and taking out on your stepdad.
Hearing aids are not an easy thing to get use to but do help the progression of dementia.
If your mom is 79, I don't consider that early onset, but I could be wrong.
Please next time no foul language and fix this for us
Best of luck
Come on. There's other words you can use to describe the situation.
Please amend your post -- you are violating the terms of use of this forum.