How do I get my father who has dementia, to take a shower? It is over three weeks, for some reason he refuses to get in the shower. Any helpful ideas are welcome.

WendyP, when one gets older, and especially if they have dementia, taking a shower is like spending the day at the gym.... it's very exhausting.

My Dad was starting to refuse showers until he hired caregivers. He was very shy around the day time caregiver but he needed to take a shower. The caregiver put her hands on her hips and said to him "Mr. Bob, I've raised a house full of boys, there isn't anything I haven't seen".... that got my Dad laughing, and from that day on there were no more problems.

Hiring an aid who has experience with the elderly with dementia worked for our family and my very elderly Aunt. At first, she resisted "Shirley" but now showers are a breeze, so be patient as he adjusts to help. Try to find a male aid if you think that will help him. Make sure there is ample lighting in bathroom, that it is warm enough to keep him comfortable, and that it is "seniorized" so that there is a shower chair, a hand-held shower head, and the floor is protected for slipping. Maybe play his favorite music softly too. Whatever works.

We used to tell my Uncle a "therapeutic fib": that he had a doctor's appointment that morning, or company was coming over.

I also recommend watching Teepa Snow videos on YouTube. I learned a lot about how to better engage with my LO with dementia so we can have more productive and peaceful interactions. Learning how and why dementia changes our LO is very helpful and will be in the future as you continue to help your Dad.

Try the sneaky wash.

Let's just wash your face & hands.. it's easier in the bathroom.. may as well do your armpits too while you are here.

Sometimes that's all for that day.

Or more sneakery.. oops your shirt got a bit wet, let's change that! May as well wash your top half..

Or.. time for a shower aide 2 x week (eg a professional paid support worker).