Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Are they bad enough that you have taken over their affairs and medical decisions with power of attorney? If so, their willingness is irrelevant, and it's your job to make the decision for them.
If they aren't bad enough for you to take over, then you really have no say in the matter until they are, or a crisis of some sort makes the decision for them.
If it's the former, and you have a place picked out, talk with their people. They deal with reluctant newcomers all the time, and sometimes a therapeutic lie is employed such as the house needs tenting for termites or a major plumbing job needs to be done. They'll have to get out of the house for a bit while the work is done, and then they just don't go back home. Either way, talk to the people at the MC, because they have all sorts of methods to help.
Yes, do consult with the admin as they have seen it all and will be glad to help in whatever strategy is necessary. "Calm" is the operative word.
AnnReid is referring to using a "therapeutic fib" storyline to make their cooperation seem necessary and important. I've read on this forum where family has told their LOs that the house has an infestation, a gas leak, a mold problem, and they need to temporarily stay at a hotel or apartment until the problem is fixed. If it is possible for someone to take them out for the day while others move their furniture and items to the MC, then the familiarity of the their surroundings will help. It may be better that they don't watch things being moved or packed up. I wish you much success for a smooth transition!
To add just a bit to the good answer already offered, keep your thoughts focused totally on the reasons you have made this very difficult but necessary decision- loving concern, safety and supervision, structure, social interaction……
Everything considered, ANYTHING that achieves the goal of getting them there is fair game. Trust that it will possibly be even harder for you than it is for them.
If you feel the need to bend the “truth”, don’t fear it. Focus on the greater good. If they didn’t NEED what you’re undertaking, you wouldn’t have to employ manipulation.
Your residence manager will also suggest how long you should wait to visit. Your mom and step-dad need to learn to rely on the staff in their new home. If you are there too often or for too much time at first, it will make the job harder for them.
I spent many happy times with my LOs after they had adjusted to. Ei g residents in “the hotel” (their description. I hope you and your family will too.
If you have selected the Memory Care facility where they will reside talk to the staff. The administration has dealt with this from more than 1 person. And there will be adjustment for both of them as well as you. They will decline for a bit, they may "bounce back" but maybe not. They may say they hate you. but know that you are placing them because it is in their best interest. Your goal is to keep them safe. The fact that they are together will help a lot.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If they aren't bad enough for you to take over, then you really have no say in the matter until they are, or a crisis of some sort makes the decision for them.
If it's the former, and you have a place picked out, talk with their people. They deal with reluctant newcomers all the time, and sometimes a therapeutic lie is employed such as the house needs tenting for termites or a major plumbing job needs to be done. They'll have to get out of the house for a bit while the work is done, and then they just don't go back home. Either way, talk to the people at the MC, because they have all sorts of methods to help.
AnnReid is referring to using a "therapeutic fib" storyline to make their cooperation seem necessary and important. I've read on this forum where family has told their LOs that the house has an infestation, a gas leak, a mold problem, and they need to temporarily stay at a hotel or apartment until the problem is fixed. If it is possible for someone to take them out for the day while others move their furniture and items to the MC, then the familiarity of the their surroundings will help. It may be better that they don't watch things being moved or packed up. I wish you much success for a smooth transition!
Everything considered, ANYTHING that achieves the goal of getting them there is fair game. Trust that it will possibly be even harder for you than it is for them.
If you feel the need to bend the “truth”, don’t fear it. Focus on the greater good. If they didn’t NEED what you’re undertaking, you wouldn’t have to employ manipulation.
Your residence manager will also suggest how long you should wait to visit. Your mom and step-dad need to learn to rely on the staff in their new home. If you are there too often or for too much time at first, it will make the job harder for them.
I spent many happy times with my LOs after they had adjusted to. Ei g residents in “the hotel” (their description. I hope you and your family will too.
And there will be adjustment for both of them as well as you.
They will decline for a bit, they may "bounce back" but maybe not.
They may say they hate you. but know that you are placing them because it is in their best interest. Your goal is to keep them safe.
The fact that they are together will help a lot.