She's been with us now for 5 weeks. This was supposed to be temporary for a few days, while my FIL made the home "livable" for her. It is not safe for her to be there. It is cluttered and filthy from pet "accidents" and her own accidents. She is not able to care for herself or clean up after herself. He is not making progress there, but no one (including my husband) seems to be willing to make a plan for what is to happen next.
She is getting very comfortable in our home. I am still raising a teenage son. I don't feel like I got a chance to voice my opinion on any long-term arrangements. I have been the one to take her to her appointments, help her with dressing, make her meals, etc. I work outside the home, so between my husband and I, we try to sneak home on our lunch break to check on her. She's on oxygen full-time now. We do have some PT, OT and nursing staff that come in a few days a week.
I feel bad that I don't want this situation. I keep voicing my opinion on deaf ears that she needs assisted living. I feel trapped because she is not my mother, and I can not make any decisions for her. I do not know where I could even start, because I don't have access to any finances or even her health insurance information.
I feel like we should contact an attorney. I love her, but I'm quickly resenting the situation, my MIL, my in-laws and my husband.