We are trying to keep my MIL with moderate dementia in her own house as long as possible. We monitor her on security cameras as she refuses to wear a fall alarm. It is not a good solution, but she is super stubborn and fights almost everything we do. What are we supposed to do? Staple the alarm to her? We cannot force her into a care facility. Her PCP says she should be in one.
A new problem we have encountered is meals. We had been stocking her freezer with frozen meals (Marie Calendar, etc.) and her fridge with deli items, grab and eat and things I had cooked as she hasn't cooked in the last two years. I found a freezer meal in her microwave Friday. It was still there Sunday. What is she doing with food? We can't tell what she eats and what she throws away.
I tried something new. I pulled granola and cereal bars out of their boxes and put them into a basket as she was not eating them out of the boxes. That seems to interest her more and signal FOOD. I had been leaving each food item I had prepared in a plastic container with a red lid in her fridge. Recently, those don't seem to have been opened. This week I have tried plating her food into meals on divided plates with clear covers. My husband say he observed her taking a bite or two out of each of the six meals I had plated yesterday. She lives 3 miles away and we are newly retired, so running food over two or three times a week is not an issue. How can we do better on her being able to recognize and access meals? We don't do going over for every meal. Living with us is a no go. We do have our boundaries too.
We know that some type of care facility is in her near future. We know we are only playing a delay game to make her remaining time a pleasant as possible. Her doctor is arranging a visiting nurse to help with things she won't let us do like personal care and bathing.
We made my granny cute reminder pictures in cheap type frames when she started with dementia.
"Hey beautiful, in case we forgot to tell you ___ made your favorite food in the red bowl in the refrigerator, all you have to do is put it in the microwave-shut the door and push that yellow button"
By the microwave the note said.
"STAY HERE UNTIL YOU HEAR THOSE ANNOYING BEEPS WHICH TELLS YOU THAT YOUR FOOD IS READY. IT MAY BE HOT SO USE THE OVEN MIT HANGING UNDER THIS PICTURE "
We made her a collection of index cards that she kept in her pocket. Start early and it will be 2nd nature once dementia advances.
Her doctor was impressed that everyone was eager to chip in to keep her in her home as long as possible. And she was right on target when she Said
Your gonna miss this and wish the time didn't go so fast.
RIP TO THE WOMAN WHO WOULD HAVE GAVE EVERYTHING FOR HER FAMILY. can't wait to see you again.
Sorry for rambling
My friend’s mom has dementia, too. It doesn’t occur to her to eat. The only solution was for my friend to hire a caregiver who helps the mom eat: breakfast, lunch, dinner + snacks. She eats now.
VentingisSNACK
(I wish it wouldn’t occur to me to eat. A few pounds overweight)
Best to all of you! It’s so hard!