My husband of 42 years is showing many signs of dementia and it runs in his mother's family. Forgetfulness, mood swings, anger, alienation from friends and family, constantly repeating the same questions. Frustration when he forgets or cannot find something. Sundowning, wanting to avoid unfamiliar places, puts on pjs in early pm and wants house cklosed up. Wanting me to make all his decisions. Changes in eating behavior. Sleeping more. When listed like this, most items seem insignificant, but put together , they show a dramatic change from his normal behavior in the oast. He has always been a very nice, kind gentle person. That has changed. I would like to believe this is something else but know in my mind and heart what is happening. I would like to discuss with Dr and find out what can be done to help him( and myself). Thanks for any input and happy hols to all!
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Good luck...
Making an appointment for yourself if you share a doctor would be one good way, giving you a fixed, certain time to pose questions. But speaking for myself, I'd just ring up his doctor and ask. Even if you don't have the same doctor (and in any case no doctor can discuss your husband's confidential business with you without his permission), there is still nothing to stop him/her listening to your valid concerns and choosing to act on what you tell him as he/she sees fit, or advising you as a concerned spouse.
Make a note before you call of the key points because unless you're amazingly level-headed you won't remember all of them during the initial conversation. The doctor will want to know: over what period of time you have noticed these changes; a few concrete examples of changes in behaviour or personality that you have seen; the bare bones of any family history - dates, relationship to your spouse, age at diagnosis.
If that really doesn't get you anywhere, or if you have a dud doctor and get fobbed off (shouldn't happen but does), you might find helpful advice from the Alzheimer's Society or similar on 'broaching the topic,' so to speak, recommending a number of approaches for you to choose from.
You know your husband best, so it seems presumptuous to tell you what's going on with him; but just in general terms remember that people often do react angrily or dismissively when one raises an uncomfortable subject with them. If he takes it badly, leave it but go back to it. Unfortunately pretending it isn't happening is not likely to be a viable option for too long.
Did anything happen to members of his mother's family that would make him even more fearful than anyone naturally would be of this kind of diagnosis? I mean, nobody would be thrilled, of course; but the scene has changed for the better a good deal in recent years. It might not be as bad as he fears.
Best of luck, please let us know how you get on.