How do I plan an inexpensive funeral?

Is Veteran's Cemetery burial an option?

Dont rule out options such as medical school donation...that's my personal plan.....it should eliminate all costs. Then you plan a remembrance event at the location of your choosing.

Cremation. You don't have to have a formal service. You could bring the ashes home and place the urn on a table with a vase of flowers and photo albums. Serve coffee and a crumb cake and call it a day.

Couldn't you just do an internment? Skip the funeral. My uncle did that for his son.

There is no law requiring one 'throw' a funeral; keeping things simple can still be dignified, respectful of the deceased. My father died first; my mom gave him a traditional funeral and casket burial in their side by side plots. 12 years later my mom passed away; she had only one remaining friend and a few family members still close to her. Out of emotion I gave her a small funeral using her life insurance policy's funds; only 10 people, including 5 family members came. The beautiful casket flowers I ordered, with 'help' from the funeral home, Disappeared 3 days after her burial (no, the cemetery was not 'cleaning/mowing' at that time!) without explanation. In hindsight, I'd have gone a simpler route: I would have buried her in a simple casket next to my dad, with a small gravesite ceremony. In some areas, embalming is not even required if the deceased is buried within a certain time, typically 24 hours. My mom had never discussed her 'final wishes', maybe just assumed she'd get the same sendoff my dad had, but it's said 'funerals are for the living'. Those who wanted to pay respects to my mom could do that at the gravesite interment. Do not feel obligated to do an elaborate funeral. 'Vaults' for caskets are not even required in many places; and some vaults are open at the bottom (less expensive), so, depending on what YOU want for your husband, it is reasonable to begin now looking into all the options, and the costs. A 'Go Fund Me' is not unusual, much like community appeals for funeral expense donations for deceased folks. If seeking donations makes you uncomfortable, scale down your husband's sendoff to what works for you, not any societal 'expectations.' Remember that however your husband's body is taken care of at his death, his spirit will be free.

You can donate his body to science. They will cremate the remains for free and our local college has a cemetery where they bury them for free if you wish.

One cost that is often not planned for is "opening" the grave. This article says the national average is $1,240. https://www.memorialplanning.com/funeral-products/grave-opening-closing#:~:text=for%20a%20burial.-,The%20cost%20of%20opening%2Dand%2Dclosing%20a%20grave%20can%20differ,closing%20a%20grave%20is%20%241%2C240.
I agree with other comment here...be up front with the funeral home.
Bless you.

A funeral is not required at all. Request a Direct Burial. You can check costs among Funeral Homes available in your area.

Was he in the military at one time? If he was you can bury him at a military base that has a cemetery.

I would do what is the cheapest so you can get him into the ground.

Prayers

A cremation through a cremation society is a low expensive way of dealing with "the remains.". You need to pay a small membership fee and then for the cremation itself. Expenses can mount if you select a very fancy urn, but you do not have to do that. Cremated remains can be put into a funeral plot as easily as a body. In that case, all you need is a box, which the cremation society will provide as part of its fee. It is the add-ons that cost so much: a funeral service, and a fancy housing for the remains, and the use of a funeral home. You do not have to use a funeral home to get a death certificate. A cremation society will provide that. I have used them for both sets of parents and my husband. I have found them to be kind and efficient and low cost. Just Google "cremation society" for your community and you will find one or more.

I was my mom's full-time caregiver. She and I discussed her funeral plans many times before her death. No visitation, no church service. Just a small service for immediate family at the funeral home. She had already picked out her outfit years before, along with a pair of shoes. We reviewed her obituary yearly.

She had a small life insurance policy that I worried would never cover the cost, and I knew I had to deal with it when the time came. I have siblings who were not involved in her care or helped financially. Mom and dad had purchased a cemetery plot years before, and dad, a Korean War Vet, was already there.

As I sat with her in her final hours, my thoughts turned to the arrangements. After she passed, I touched based with the funeral director and made it clear the financial situation and asked whether her wishes could be followed. He said it would be tight, but he would try. I made his job easier, as by the next day, I picked out the casket, provided him the obituary/photo, and gave him her outfit. He was amazed at how organized I was.

The immediate cost was $600 to open the grave, which was an out of pocket expense. I was beginning to worry about what the final bill would look like, but again thought, whatever it is, I will have to deal with it. The day before the service, I went to see Mom, and commented how great she looked in her casket. She did not look 93 years old. We had a small service at the funeral home and again at the cemetery as the snow began to fall. I stayed behind to watch as the vault lid with her name on it was put in place.

Back at the funeral home, the director presented me with the final bill. It matched exactly the amount of Mom's life insurance policy. He had discounted the cost significantly. I was very relieved.

Maybe my case is an exception. As already suggested, now is the time to have a discussion with your chosen funeral director. I wish you all the best.

Also located in Illinois. We just pre-paid/planned my husband’s funeral last year. He was swayed by some things the funeral rep pointed out, I was not. Everything is optional, and it pays to check with other funeral homes to see their prices & various services. However I was probably most surprised at the differences in cemeteries. They too, vary wildly in costs and can charge for every little thing. Make sure you know what else is required in addition to the $350. Grave opening/closing cost, vaults (even for urns at some), time & day of the week for burials incur different costs, perpetual funds, tent/seating for services, etc. Do what you can live with. I intend to pay my respects to my husband privately, then I’m out. I have no intentions of standing next to my step-kids at the casket as they put on a show. I can live with that.

I intend to be cremated after organ & tissue donation, then sprinkled (privately - my immediate family only) at the base of a tree that was planted in honor of my granddaughter. No embalming, no services & only a private viewing beforehand if my kids want it.

You can do a cremation. That is the cheapest. If you want the ashes buried, you will need a concrete vault. This is a requirement. This is to prevent soil and water contamination. The same happens with a coffin, though a coffin’s vault is significantly larger and more expensive. Sometimes cemeteries have columbariums which are like large cabinets with niches. A niche can be purchased or if the individual was a veteran or spouse of a veteran, they can be placed in the niche together.

At Arlington Cemetery, space is limited, so most burials are cremations unless due to special actions, and then the ashes are placed in the columbarium niche.

I understand there are veteran cemeteries across the country and, if that is applicable, might help.

If he is an honorably discharged veteran, he may be entitled to a free burial at a national cemetery. The family must get the remains to the cemetery. Check it out. They are beautiful and peaceful. I know you have a town site, but the other costs may make the national cemetery more feasible. My understanding is there are no costs after the remains reach the cemetery, but do double check this. A kind funeral home owner suggested this to me.

Call local funeral homes to ask about their costs. Most funerary services cost less if paid in advance. Also check into tissue donations. With a tissue donation, organs may be harvested to help others and tissues harvested to further research. The remains will be cremated and returned to you in about 3 weeks - all on the dime of the research center. I know he doesn't want a cremation, but this is more cost effective and he won't be able to argue once he is gone. You can find creative and inexpensive methods to deal with his ashes - less than a cemetery plot.

A memorial service should be whatever brings you comfort - in a place that brings you peace surrounded by those who love you. This could be a local place of worship with a faith leader leading the memorial service, which is traditional. Less traditional approach could be at a park, a lake, the beach... with a friend leading a time of reflection about your husband and all contributing memories of love and joy. Meal is not obligatory but coffee and ice water is always nice.

You can get less expensive caskets from Walmart and Costco. However, some funeral homes MAKE you buy their caskets, and don't allow outside caskets.

Since he doesn’t seem to care what you think or say and has made bad financial choices, I would cremate him. Not to get back, just practical because of your financial situation.

My mom had an end of life insurance policy for 7k which was a lifesaver. My religion does not allow cremation and neither do our Christian beliefs.
I remembered how nice and natural my in laws looked in Europe without puffed up, made up, unnatural looking embalming, so I looked into it and found out it is not necessary. That cut out over one thousand dollars. We did not have a wake. The church mass cost nothing as she and we are paying members. We chose a simple but elegant casket. I did not write over the entire check because I told the funeral director that I needed to have a lunch afterwards. The entire funeral cost $6,300. The obituary on their site was free. I didnt order flowers. Thankfully there were two beautiful arrangements sent by cousins. It was simple,elegant and dignified and most importantly, extremely spiritual..just like her.
Cemetery was an additional cost which me and my adult children all chipped in for. (I now know to up the $$ ante for my end of life insurance in order to cover that too.)

my mom had meager funds. She wanted a regular burial, in another stated .. crazy how much the funeral home wanted to pick her up from the airport.. I had her cremated. It was also cheaper to have a grave side placement service. So check into the placement service. Not funeral service. I did find in another city close to me a company that did cremation cheaper if my mom had been sent there instead of the funeral home , I had chosen. Next , call around , you will find wide difference in pricing.

maybe you can get him to realize that whether he is not cremated or cremated the results are the same…

I went this morning and made my own plans and prepaid. I'm being cremated. I bought two boxes for my ashes. One is being buried with my husband and my son is taking the other ashes to be spread at the family farm in WV. With opening the grave here in Maine, boxes, mailing ashes and direct cremation I paid a total of $732.00. I thought that was reasonable. I'm not having a viewing, funeral service, luncheon, obituaries, etc. And there shouldn't be any fussing between my son and my stepsons. They all agreed on my arrangements.

Call and speak with several funeral homes in your area and explain your circumstances. In the area where I live burials ( with casket) can range from 5,000.-10,000. and up, depending on the type of casket selected and other services requested from the funeral services directors. For example one can reduce the cost by forgoing "visitation/viewing" at the funeral home (the funeral home will allow immediate family to view body after prepared and then close casket) you can request a "graveside only" service ( this avoids a lot of the extra costs. If there is no life insurance to help with the burial costs, perhaps you can speak with someone from his " golf club" group ( a buddy, golfing companion etc) and share the financial need with them and, requests them to raise some funds among the " golfing community"; If you are affiliated with a faith group, you can speak with the faith leader for potential help. A funeral home will often work with family for a " payment plan" but some will not. If you express your need to the funeral home and ask for a limited costs burial, sometimes they are prepared to help clients with financial needs or they can refer you perhaps to other resources in the community. Some people also " dedicate their bodies to science research" and if approved ( this has to be decided and signed for by the ill person while still cognitively alert ) , my understanding is that some costs for burial are then deferred. You would need to look into this with a hospital in your area. You can also enlist the financial support /contributions from family members. So, explore some options with funeral homes in your area, be honest with them about your financial distress, ask for their help, share that you only want the "bare minimum" of services and a limited cost casket; seek potential help from family or " golfing buddies". Talk with faith leader for referrals.

Im from small town and a rural church has plots for $100, so these prices do exist.

Someone here suggested veterans cemetery, but that only gives you what you already have...a plot. SSA will give $255 to spouse of deceased and you can ask funeral director for forms to get it. Not much, but take it. (As a note, only a spouse gets it - odd but true. If you remain unmarried after hubby does, no one can claim the 255 for your death. Unless the rules have changed this year, it's been same amount since 1954!)

First, visit funeral home(s) midway between your home (or hospital where he would be when he passes) and the cemetery you will use. Transport costs money.

Ask about pricing and discuss your financial situation. Some cemeteries mandate vault in the ground to put casket into, some don't. Some areas require embalming and some don't. Some caskets are thousands of dollars and some are very simple cheaper material. You can purchase a casket online as well.

When you use any part of funeral facility, there's a charge. Cutting costs will likely amount to funeral home picks up body, embalm or not depending on law in your area, the casket, no viewing or services at funeral home - only do graveside service, and a fee to dig/cover the grave.

Very simple affair at a graveside. The location where goodbye words are spoken will not diminish the meaning.

Best to begin comparison shopping for both of you now. You never know what can happen. Wished would be known and you could start making payments.

On another note, hubby's optimism by paying next years fees can be a good thing. Better than living with depression and despair.

When my husband passed we just had a cremation with plain box type urn. I had bought a cemetery plot years ago and there was one space left so we planned to place monument with both names on it and bury the urn in front and room for mine towards the back. Cremation was around 2k. My children wanted a visitation so we added to it for another $750 that the children paid for. Talk to a funeral director asap. They can give you helpful information

We have both set up prepayment funerals at the funeral home. Very simple, short service. Luckily, the cemetery chapel is right across from where he will be laid to rest, where his family is. So that's where we will have it.

I know you don't have much time left to do this and I am sad for you. Maybe have a graveside service, a local preacher if you know one. If he is a veteran, the funeral home should obtain a flag for him, free of charge. Obituaries are very expensive here, but a short note can be entered in the newspaper, or not.

I work at a cemetery and this is how I went about mine: Planning is your best bet. Buy before he passes so you are not in an emotional state. Take a friend with you, ask if they offer discounts for before need purchases. Cremation is inexpensive. If you are a member of Costco - they sell caskets. If you cremate you do not have to buy a fancy urn. Purchase an inexpensive one - shop around. When I buried my Mama, Daddy, Uncle, Grandmother, Brother and Sister, I purchase the lowest priced casket. I purchased al a cart instead of a package because the packages always have things you don't need or want. Keep a note book - my cemetery offers a pre-planning notebook. Blessings to you!

My family has had a few different experiences that may help you:

1) My mother died when I was a teenager, so I was not really involved in her arrangements (except for having to go look at caskets, which was so sad and traumatic, and her husband ended up going for the cheapest option anyway). But, she was buried in the county cemetery, and I was able to have my older brother's and dad's ashes buried in her plot later for much lower cost than if we had to purchase a plot for each. My other brother and I did a graveside service ourselves on the weekend when cemetery staff did not work, after the ashes were buried, and there was no cost for that. We didn't have markers made, but we knew they were there, plus we're not big on visiting graves anyway. If you belong to a church, your pastor or priest may officiate for you.

2) My adult daughter passed away unexpectedly several years ago. I was pretty active in my church and my congregation took it upon themselves to raise enough funds to pay for the cremation and a wonderful reception after the memorial. Tons of family and friends attended and participated in the service, with our pastor officiating. It still warms my heart that she had such a warm send-off in a heartbreaking time. My husband and son and daughter did some surfing and we held a "paddle-out" at their favorite beach. I created a biodegradable container for her ashes and they went out beyond the breakers and submerged them till they sank to the bottom. Flower leis were floated on the water at the spot. (I don't think that's technically legal, but we never had repercussions.)

3) My husband's sister lost her husband after a long illness a couple of years ago. He always thought he was going to survive and never made any pre-need arrangements. They had absolutely no money to work with, and no credit. The cremation care people suggested that his body could be donated to science for tissue and organ donation, after which the remainder of the body would be cremated at no cost, and the ashes returned. She thought that with his lifelong wish to help people, he would be okay with that, as were she and the family. Later, close family gathered on their property on a mountain top and buried his ashes under the first tree they had planted together decades before. Wife, children and grands each contributed to a marker of sorts made of rocks, pine cones and a plaque. Very low-key but meaningful, touching and satisfying. Also probably not technically legal, but nobody comes out to check. You just have to say when you pick up the ashes that you will retain them at your home.

Hope some of this helps. Wishing you peace in the journey.

Sorry about your husband. I think you must do what you can afford to do-even if its creamation and a service at your home.

My mom for years would tell me she wanted to be cremated. I was young so I just went along with it. When my dad died I was going through a depression due to other life events and this put me over the edge. Thank goodness my mom's sister assisted my mom with the funeral arrangements. There was a small service and my dad was then cremated and eventually my mom gave the ashes to his sister. I felt very awkward asking for them back. But then my mom saw someone's funeral and decided she wanted to be put in a crypt with no cremation. She doesnt have the funds for that. I intend to have her cremated same as my dad and I would get his and her ashes and keep them. I personally want to be cremated. Dont know why those with the least finances want to have a fancy funeral and plot etc. My mom planned for nothing. And unfortunately I have to manage it all when it comes time. In addition she is in a nursing home and on medicaid so there are rules regarding funeral costs that must be followed. I didnt buy the funeral ahead of time because I dreaded the task, as if she would die as soon as I did it. To this day she is still living but her life expectancy at 95 is getting shorter and shorter. Wishing you the best at this unfortunate time. It is hard to have to think about these things.

Alkaline hydrolysis (aka Aquamation) gives you the same final outcome as cremation but is more environmentally friendly. Cost should fall between cremation and burial. So you can honour his wish to not be cremated.

If cremation is being considered, please get in touch with The Neptune Society who deals in Low Cost Cremation.

Future condolences and prayers...