I started caring for my 93-year-old granny 3 years ago. I gave up my whole life, my home, the business I was starting and nearly lost my spouse of 17 years to care for her. When I took on her care the house was overrun by cats and frankly, disgusting. I completely deep cleaned this whole house, got rid of most of the cats and then started on the numerous repairs. Doing 90% of it all on my own. I'm still working on this house. About five months ago she became bedridden and could no longer do anything without assistance. I was able to get hospice care for her, but after four months, they suggest that she go to a home. The amount of care she needed was way beyond the ability of one person and I agreed. So the day after Easter she went to stay in a home. Due to her Alzheimer's, I have had to repeatedly "break the news to her" when she keeps asking when she's coming home. Now my granny has a "friend" that she calls her "church daughter." This woman is an opportunist who has borrowed thousands of dollars over the years without paying it back. She only shows up when she gets something out of it. My granny was paying her to help me take care of her, but that was a joke. When granny became bedbound, I let her go and put a stop to her borrowing anything. I asked her to please keep visiting Granny because she means a lot to her. That is when the Sheriff and APS started being called. Eight separate visits where all declared unfounded. She also got in contact with my granny's niece who lives in Montana (we are in CA). Filling her head with lies and telling her not to send Granny money here at the house and to send it to her instead. Which she has so far kept for herself, using one excuse or another. Ok, that's a little of the backstory. Now my cousin and granny's friend keep riling her up (over the phone) and have my granny convinced that she is going home on the first. Which it is in no way in their control. I am also granny's POA. Has anyone else had to deal with people wanting to interfere and cause problems, but not help change diapers, provide care or sacrifice any of their? I am the one who has to think for her best interest. How do I put a stop to all of their instigating? Can I get a restraining order limiting what they discuss with her? I'd really appreciate any input.

As POA you can ban anyone you want from seeing Grandmom. Saying that they promise her things that are impossible. That their visits upset her. If she has a phone, does she really need it at this point? Is so, block the numbers.

She has ALZ she can not make informed decisions. Tell niece to stop sending money. First Granny needs no money in a NH. You are in charge of that. Second the "church daughter" does not have the ability to deposit cks in the Bank. Granny cannot sign the check. If the CD is cashing the check that is fraud. Third, if sending cash, that is such a no no per the postal system.

You are the POA. Granny can no longer make her own decisions, you now do that for her. She does not need these two friends. You do whatever u need to do to protect her. If that means getting restraining orders against these two, do it.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to JoAnn29

Although it may do no good, I would also let the niece know that no money she has sent to CD has ever made it to Granny. She may of course choose to believe CD, but hey at least you warned her.
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Reply to pamzimmrrt

Change Granny's phone number. Talk to admins at her facility to see if they are able to block unwanted visitors. I would not encourage the grifter to keep visiting Granny... sorry, you're just inviting trouble in. Don't tell her or anyone that what you're doing. Put a freeze on Granny's credit for good measure. I agree with Isthisrealyreal that if you know what church this person attends, you can discuss her greedy behavior with the Pastor. It will only make an impact if this person is actually a member (not just attender) at this church.

If Granny is now bedbound, is she on Medicaid in LTC?
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Geaton777

You can stop all contact but, you know there is no way to regulate what is talked about.

Personally, I would tell the facility that as her POA, it is in grandma's best interest to have no contact with these trouble makers. I am usually very adverse to this action but, this situation needs to stop, for granny's sake.

I would contact the Pastor and tell him about the issues grandma's church daughter is causing, about the false allegations to police and APS and the money, he should address this kind of behavior between congregants.

Best of luck keeping grandma safe and content.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Isthisrealyreal

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