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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
She is not safe alone. My MIL suffers from mid stage dementia and I have physical disabilities so I cannot take proper care of her but her son, my husband, seems to be in denial. He does have health decisions power of attorney.
Make it crystal clear to your husband that you can not and will not sacrifice your physical health to attend to his mother. There is nothing wrong with looking out for yourself.
I just turned in my resignation because my back is hurting most days I work. It is not worth my discomfort to sacrifice myself for my patient. My patient does not have to live with my pain. Even though the family has become very dependent on me, I have to do what's best for ME first. The same with you.
Make a doctor's appointment for your MIL and all three of you attend. TELL the doctor you can not care for her due to your physical limitations. Ask what facility he/she would recommend. I'm sure hubby will get the idea and go along with the plan. Not too many sons want or will do full time physical caregiving duties that involve personal hygiene for their mothers.
First of all, you and hubby need to be on the same page. Speak with him VERY honestly and tell him you cannot take care of his mother and certainly not now and not as her dementia progresses, and it will. Ask him if he would be comfortable bathing and toileting her when she requires it, because with your disabilities you cannot. Tell him you know this is not an easy decision, but it’s a necessary one. There is no reverse gear on dementia. It only gets worse.
Then, have her evaluated to see what level of care she needs so you’re not putting her on one level and then having to move her in a few months. If her doctor can’t do this, he can refer you to someone who can.
Then, begin touring facilities. I’m sure you’re familiar with facilities in your area. Ask if they will help you apply for Medicaid. Some facilities will accept her Medicaid pending. My mom’s facility held my hand through the entire application process.
If Mom lives alone now, suggest to your husband that it could be a dangerous situation for her. Even without dementia, most of us Seniors are a fall risk. If your husband has siblings, have him call a family meeting. Make suggestions if you are included in the meeting. Be firm that you cannot care for her.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Make it crystal clear to your husband that you can not and will not sacrifice your physical health to attend to his mother. There is nothing wrong with looking out for yourself.
I just turned in my resignation because my back is hurting most days I work. It is not worth my discomfort to sacrifice myself for my patient. My patient does not have to live with my pain. Even though the family has become very dependent on me, I have to do what's best for ME first. The same with you.
Make a doctor's appointment for your MIL and all three of you attend. TELL the doctor you can not care for her due to your physical limitations. Ask what facility he/she would recommend. I'm sure hubby will get the idea and go along with the plan. Not too many sons want or will do full time physical caregiving duties that involve personal hygiene for their mothers.
In addition, have your husband go with you and your MIL to a doctor appointment. Have the doctor explain to your husband what level of care she needs.
It might start to break into his denial.
Then, have her evaluated to see what level of care she needs so you’re not putting her on one level and then having to move her in a few months. If her doctor can’t do this, he can refer you to someone who can.
Then, begin touring facilities. I’m sure you’re familiar with facilities in your area. Ask if they will help you apply for Medicaid. Some facilities will accept her Medicaid pending. My mom’s facility held my hand through the entire application process.
If Mom lives alone now, suggest to your husband that it could be a dangerous situation for her. Even without dementia, most of us Seniors are a fall risk. If your husband has siblings, have him call a family meeting. Make suggestions if you are included in the meeting. Be firm that you cannot care for her.