Her dementia is increasing but she still has moments of complete mental soundness, but then forgets instantly. She lives in a long term care facility which I would call a very nice 24/7 rest home section of a rehabilitation center. He died a couple months ago and I didn't want to totally upset her and then her just not remember, but I feel she is his mother and she should know? When he was dying at Hospice, and I answered his cell, she just thought she was speaking with him for about five-ten minutes! His phone is now disconnected so I know she must have called him several times, (which I just now realized) and he passed away on August 11th. Her cousin says she must be so lonely and offered to have her move to her area. What to do?
As far as moving goes, it's not recommended for an elder with dementia either. I don't know what this means, "One friend said Id feel bad moving someday if I wanted to." ??? Everyone has opinions about what's "best" for others when they have NO first hand experience or knowledge about the situation at all, isn't that true? As for being lonely, your MIL lives with lots of other elders in a community environment as it stands! She's also riddled with dementia and not even asking why you or her son aren't visiting, right? That goes a long way in letting you know she isn't lonely, or she'd be demanding to see both of you constantly! Most people don't understand how dementia works and so, they apply OUR rules of life to a disease that doesn't play by those rules at ALL.
All that to say, if it isn't broken, don't try to fix it for your MIL !
My condolences on your loss. Wishing you the best of luck.
I would tell her in a lucid moment but only the one time. You don't have to tell her it was August. I would not do it by phone. Someone needs to tell her person to person.
I would not move her if she is happy where she is. Change is not good for those suffering from a Dementia.