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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Not everyone is cut out to care for a parent in their home. If that describes you, don't for one minute feel guilty about it. If mom has to live somewhere else and it frees you to be more valuable to her, then choose that option. My mom is hateful, we don't like each other much less love each other. I would never have her live with me . . . ever. I'd be in a physc hospital the first week. Do I feel guilty? No way. My mom thrived on keeping my emotional state in constant overdrive. I don't know if any of this applies to your situation. Your emotional health has to be protected. What good would you be to any of your family if you don't keep yourself well? Good luck on your decision.
KathY: Not knowing all the datails it is difficult to send some feedback-but here goes: If your mom is lucid, can you explain to her of your emotional situation, and then make some suggestions, like assisted living? If she is not lucid, who then has POA to make such type decisions/or suggestions? If your mom is under the care of a neurologist-you can perhaps speak with him..or a senior service agency worker in your community for the purpose of finding some resolution to your problem.
I agree w/ Elizza. More frequent breaks. My father who is blind lives w/ us, and I know that it adds another "layer" of stress to caregiving because you are always having to "see" for them and anticipate hazards that might trip them up, in addition to the normal stress of everyday caring responsibilities (i.e., bathing, meals, dr. appts, meds, etc.).
I would encourage you to try to get extra help first. Maybe try to find someone who has taken care of the blind before and understands their unique needs. I am wondering if part of the problem is her frustration due to her limitations, etc., which in turn takes a toll on your emotions. Maybe having someone there to help care for her would act as a buffer for you both?
Would it help if someone came in to care for your mother and you got more frequent breaks? Or can you talk it over with your mother? How did it come about that your mother moved into your house in the first place? I guess I am suggesting you look to see if there are any in-between steps you and your mother can take.
Having read Kathy's profile, I see that her grown children live a very long distance away and are busy with their own children as well as she works 100 miles away; plus her emotional state cannot handle this anymore.
I gather that as an empty-nester wife and mom who has been married to a great guy for 36 years and along with wanting some peace of mind would like to be a couple with their own space once again.
Her mother's medical problems that are described is basically poor vision which probably means that she could live somewhere else with either assisted living or some sort of assistance in living in her own townhouse, apartment, etc. Like I wrote on someone's wall, I believe we need to seek for means by which God's help comes. Like the story about the person who died and stood before God and blamed God for not rescuing him from that flood which destroyed his house and killed him. God's reply was, well I sent help by having people announce evacuate the area; then I sent a truck by; and then a boat came by when you were on the roof, and then not too close before all was lost I sent a helicopter by and you chose to not take any of my help.
Having read Kathy's profile, I see that her grown children live a very long distance away and are busy with their own children as well as she works 100 miles away; plus her emotional state cannot handle this anymore.
I gather that as an empty-nester wife and mom who has been married to a great guy for 36 years and along with wanting some peace of mind would like to be a couple with their own space once again.
Her mother's medical problems that are described is basically poor vision which probably means that she could live somewhere else with either assisted living or some sort of assistance in living in her own townhouse, apartment, etc. Like I wrote on someone's wall, I believe we need to seek for means by which God's help comes. Like the story about the person who died and stood before God and blamed God for not rescuing him from that flood which destroyed his house and killed him. God's reply was, well I sent help by having people announce evacuate the area; then I sent a truck by; and then a boat came by when you were on the roof, and then not too close before all was lost I sent a helicopter by and you chose to not take any of my help.
that is how you feel but deep down she is your mom and you love her. i know it is hard but God will help you. do you have any family that will help you? i am sorry you are put in this situation. it is terrible. just be honest with her.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My mom is hateful, we don't like each other much less love each other. I would never have her live with me . . . ever. I'd be in a physc hospital the first week. Do I feel guilty? No way. My mom thrived on keeping my emotional state in constant overdrive. I don't know if any of this applies to your situation. Your emotional health has to be protected. What good would you be to any of your family if you don't keep yourself well? Good luck on your decision.
Gook luck!
Hap
I would encourage you to try to get extra help first. Maybe try to find someone who has taken care of the blind before and understands their unique needs. I am wondering if part of the problem is her frustration due to her limitations, etc., which in turn takes a toll on your emotions. Maybe having someone there to help care for her would act as a buffer for you both?
Or can you talk it over with your mother?
How did it come about that your mother moved into your house in the first place? I guess I am suggesting you look to see if there are any in-between steps you and your mother can take.
I gather that as an empty-nester wife and mom who has been married to a great guy for 36 years and along with wanting some peace of mind would like to be a couple with their own space once again.
Her mother's medical problems that are described is basically poor vision which probably means that she could live somewhere else with either assisted living or some sort of assistance in living in her own townhouse, apartment, etc. Like I wrote on someone's wall, I believe we need to seek for means by which God's help comes. Like the story about the person who died and stood before God and blamed God for not rescuing him from that flood which destroyed his house and killed him. God's reply was, well I sent help by having people announce evacuate the area; then I sent a truck by; and then a boat came by when you were on the roof, and then not too close before all was lost I sent a helicopter by and you chose to not take any of my help.
I gather that as an empty-nester wife and mom who has been married to a great guy for 36 years and along with wanting some peace of mind would like to be a couple with their own space once again.
Her mother's medical problems that are described is basically poor vision which probably means that she could live somewhere else with either assisted living or some sort of assistance in living in her own townhouse, apartment, etc. Like I wrote on someone's wall, I believe we need to seek for means by which God's help comes. Like the story about the person who died and stood before God and blamed God for not rescuing him from that flood which destroyed his house and killed him. God's reply was, well I sent help by having people announce evacuate the area; then I sent a truck by; and then a boat came by when you were on the roof, and then not too close before all was lost I sent a helicopter by and you chose to not take any of my help.