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Hi Everyone,


I've read a lot of helpful articles on here and the community seems really supportive and knowledgeable. My question is how to I transition my mom to living on her own from a financial/housing perspective?


The current situation is that she's receiving normal SS (not a lot), and living with my family and I in California. However, she has an entitlement complex and has really worn out her welcome while living here, and with my brother. She really needs her own space as we have a new baby and not enough room, and I will not jeopardize my marriage based on her toxic persona. On top of this, she's opposed to getting the COVID-19 vaccine, despite 2 young (6yo, 7mo) children living here who are unable to get a vaccine. My brother and I have supported her for over 10 years but with our own growing families, we're unable to support her financially to get her a place.


She doesn't have any assets and I plan on helping her apply for SSI and anything else she will qualify for, but I'm wondering how to transition her to getting her own place. Will she qualify for a higher SSI, and housing subsidy with the intention and planning of moving her out? or does she basically have to be out on her own first and have the documentation of rental cost, etc... when applying? What's the best way to go about this?


Thanks for any advice!

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I think it might help us to understand - how did your mother come to be living with first your brother and then with you and your young family? How old is she? And how long has she been dependent on you children for her support?
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You start helping her look for Senior Housing.
You can contact your local Area Agency on Aging and see if she might qualify for some help with housing.
Keep in mind there may be very long lists for subsidized housing.
In a lot of areas there are rooms that people rent out, that might be an option.
Roommates might also be an option.
There might be a problem though if she refuses to be vaccinated and roommates want only vaccinated people, same with a homeowner renting a room.
Not sure about the qualifications but if you and your brother can prove that you have been financially subsidizing her that might help.
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In my State HUD has low income aparts. Their rent is based on 30% of Moms monthly income. Heat is included. Electric and cable aren't. She could get food stamps. Like suggest Office of Aging can help.
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Contact your area agency on Aging. There is one in each county. They can help you understand what options are available for your mom.

https://www.longbeach.gov/health/long-beach-healthy-aging/
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S14MPower Jun 2021
Thank you!
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Once you take someone into your own home (friend or foe, parent or child) it is easy for that person to claim tenant rights. They are difficult to evict. I would ask you what you have discussed with your Mother. Does she agree to move? What are her expectations.
Again, once they come into your home it is next to impossible to get them out. That is why you so often hear the words "ER DUMP" on this Forum.
I hope others have better news and ideas for you than I do. I will follow.
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S14MPower Jun 2021
Thanks for the advice. It has been discussed and there's an understanding that she would move out. However, there hasn't been much action on her part, hence my assistance in getting things set up for her. I don't want to just let time pass 'cause I know it'll be 10 years later in the blink of an eye if no one does anything.
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