My mother lives in her home, located 300 miles away from where I live and work - my brother and I scramble around her Dr. appts, eye shots every 4 weeks. My brother works with me and my Father 300 miles away...farming, so the schedule is flexible, but we know her situation is not sustainable for us to support 100%..... I would like to find someone who could take her to the Dr. appt.s, take out her garbage and pick up her mail at street side...
All this to say maybe it’s time to look into a change?
Eye shots every 4 weeks sounds intense. How about those other doctor appointments? I cut waaaay back on my mom's appointments. It was like every doctor wanted to see her again in 3 months! For absolutely no reason. She's stable and does blood work every 3 months so why are we going - just to say yup, everything's the same? Such a waste of time! So if she has some like that, cut back to less often to relieve some of the burden.
Is your mom still competent? Just doesn't drive?
Best of luck!
Does she go to a church? If so, does this church have a Care Ministry? You should call the church and ask (however, volunteers are not as reliable or accountable as paid help -- been there, done that).
Otherwise, you can set up a companion aid from an agency but it is really hard to get anyone to work less than 30 hrs a week (consistent hours on consistent days, every week). This was my experience with an agency.
This is why I suggest looking for a neighbor to pay to help.
(And I also found a doctor service that would come to her house and perform things like blood test etc. I would dial in using an Amazon Echo Show, and participate in those visits. )
We actually found a couple women that we really liked and a few are still working for us privately apart from the agency helping us out while my mother is in hospice in assisted living..
Also there is care.com where you can post for assistance. You will be paying a little less ($20-25 hour) because the agencies charge quite a lot now (30-35). We got a small stipand through her long-term care insurance... but it can add up.
My understanding is they are all vetted and background checked but I haven't had any experience with them other than posting a job that I wound up not needing help for.
Finally, If she only needs help off and on And you are familiar with her area I would try posting on your Facebook page and asking if any of your friends or their kids or high school friends in the area would be interested in helping out. A lot of high school kids would welcome an extra $20 an hour and be relatively flexible.
Best of luck.... I kept my mom home a long time with a caregiver 2-3 hours a day and a setup of cameras inside the home once she became more prone to falls.
That being said I wound up having to move out here for her final years because it was too hard to manage remotely, even when she was assisted living. Just food for thought as / if she becomes more frail.
In my area Council on Aging provides rides to and from doctor appointments on a shuttle bus or they may be able to connect you with someone.
I see that you are in Washington. The website is dshs.wa.gov
Phone no. 360-725-2466
Wishing you all the best in continuing to care for your mom.
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